Do You Hear Voices?

 I do.  Now, I know you are going to start thinking perhaps I am like Taylor and need psychosis meds and so on, but I don't.  At least not yet anyway.  Although on my maternal side there is a high possibility of dementia and Alzheimer's.  But what I hear, I would compare it more like to PTSD.  Or so I have been told.

It's always at night.  It used to be mostly hearing the kids from when they were little.  And then of course I would hear what I thought was Bryan either yelling at the kids or yelling at something.  But the thing is, it isn't happening.  It feels like it is though.  It also goes back to my younger years where I was abused physically, emotionally, and sexually - so if I think the bedroom door opens, I immediately start to wake.  It doesn't help that our Cuban neighbors seem to play their music ALL THE TIME.  I can hear it when it is low (because of the base), when they use it as an alarm, and when they have it blaring of course.  They are AMAZING neighbors, but my room is right there by their living room which stinks.

If I don't get enough sleep because of them, then I hear even more.  Ugh.  I have been trying different types of ZEN music to help but blessedly the past two nights, they have been super quiet and no music at all at times.  Could have something to when I went over there Saturday, I had been sad for I think 2 days by then, and they were bumping!  I just texted them; we are family-like, and I may have mentioned to one of our couple friends that I haven't been getting much sleep due to the music.  If they said something. God Bless.

So, if you couldn't figure that out, I didn't get the position.  He chose the lady who interviewed after me.  The HR lady still loves me and since they are an e-commerce company, she has a new position coming soon she wants me to apply.  In the meantime, I continue to apply.

XOXO ~ Nicole

When Did I Get So Old?

 *Singing*  Here I go, again on my own....

That is just a lame way of saying yes, I have been absent again from you guys.  I am still in the process of finding a job that is hourly or salary, and not just commission.  We can't live like this, if you want to even call it that.  And like I mentioned, the family and Claire have been helping.

I had an interview yesterday, well 2, the first one with HR and then the hiring manager.  It was all via Google Meet because the position is a work from home which I really need.  I'm old now.  I can't stand 8 plus hours like I could when I was younger.  This position is only paying 14.00 an hour, but I gotta start somewhere.  It's sad to think how much I was making and where I am now.  I really like the life insurance, but I feel like all of my hard work is just getting eaten up by chargebacks etc.  Doesn't seem worth it.

As I was saying, the interviews went alright.  Of course, both of them are around Claire's age.  I also had to take assessment tests and Lord let me tell you, when I saw the math portion, waaa waaa waaaa.  I am HORIBBLE at math.  That's why God made calculators!  There were percentages, subtraction of huge numbers, and what comes next on these weird shapes.  When she told me I fell below the score slightly, I figured it would be that one, considering most of my shit were guesses.  But nope, it was the email portion.  I failed to remember there was a certain number of letters that needed to be used.  She loves me, so she chatted with guy who would does the final interview and he agreed to interview me.

That was fun.  Not.  He mentioned he was in The Philippines.  Tell me why my dumbass said, Oh wow - How is Thailand?  Yup, I did.  That's another thing about me.  I suck at geography and get lost super easily.  Everything went great until we did the mock customer phone call.  Started off well, and then I started getting nervous and choked.  I talked to the HR girl after, and she pretty much told me that was the only issue and how he has one more interview the next morning.  She let me know she was going on vacation but stay by the phone because she wanted to hopefully get me rescheduled to try that part again.

I didn't sleep well because I kept waking up to look at my phone to see what time it was because I can easily sleep until 10-11 am.  Plus, Bryan and I went to Uncle Albert's for a few hours.  I needed out of the house.  Listened to music, watched people, I had 2 beers and a nasty shot.  Bryan drank his Coca-Cola.  He is so stinking cute!  I was in bed sound asleep by 11 pm which is not abnormal for us.  Makes me think of my great-grandparents because every night they watched the 10pm news and then went to bed.  I got up around 9 am, took some Tylenol because I'm old, ate, and just been dragging.  Definitely not my normal energetic self.  Oh, and there were some tears last night also prompting to want to get out of the house for a bit because I am trying so hard for this 14.00 an hour position.  It's hard to wrap my mind around it but God knows what is best.

I am still waiting.  I never heard from anyone this morning.  Now she did tell me she was going on vacation but begged and pleaded I be available.  So, I sit here thinking, is no news good news?

XOXO ~ Nicole

Happy 17 Years My Love!

 First, I wanted to start off apologizing for being kind of missing.  Been having what I call sad days.  Especially today.  I have no idea why, it is our 17th wedding anniversary, and I was so excited yesterday only to feel like impending doom was on its way when I woke up.  I know it has a lot to do with the fact that I still do not have a job, no income coming in but family and friends that help, Bryan has his social security, and we are still working hard on Taylor's.  I knew Bryan wanted to go and eat, and don't get me wrong, I love to eat especially out to eat because it is something we do not get to do very often being broke jokes.  But my stomach has still been a little cranky since I got so sick from Bingo.  I went though, and yes, the food was delicious and who doesn't like people watching?  We go to this buffet which I know sounds ridiculous for an anniversary lunch, but it is close to the house, and the variety and choices like sushi, veggies, honestly everything is so fresh and yum.  Came home, feeling a little stuffed, I tried hard not to shovel food into my face because after my sickness, I lost weight! LOL.  Imagine that!  Got home and decided to take a nap.  Yes, I know, awful for you but I hoped to "feel" better after mentally.

I didn't.  Actually, I started feeling a bit anxious in between catnapping.  Still not sure why.  Luckily, I was able to book an appointment for my refills and chatted with my doctor about it.  It was kind of ironic because she got up and closed the door and then talked to me about how she also was having a sad day.  She said she was normally happy, bubbly, (like me), but at lunch she was sad.  That made me cry again but smile as well.  Then I found out from hu hubby's step brother-in-law that he was gifting us the X-Box giveaway that I missed out on!!  Bryan and Taylor are going to be so excited! So, through all the tears and fake smiles, it has been a good day.  Happy Anniversary Husband-Of Mine!  Forever and Ever!!!!!!!

XOXO ~ Nicole

Holy Crap, Santa is Hiring!!

 The hubs found a good deal on a rack for the plants. He has quite the green thumb and keeps the outdoors and indoor plants happy and heathy. I kill them all. Anywho, he was so excited when the box arrived this morning. Like a little kid, it was super cute!

I continued doing my thing and then come out into the living room and see my man looking like he signed up for Santa!!!

All jokes aside though, he is enjoying doing this, said it is like big Legos. And it helps a lot for exercising his hands. I love him so much!!

XOXO ~ Nicole

PS. Final photo coming soon! <3🌱🌲🌷🌹🌸🍂🍁🌼🌺

Final product!!!  <3

You guys, I do not know what is going here with the black etc.  We shall just call it art!

Baby Momma Bear 🐻

 As you guys know, Claire is pregnant and lives in Kansas.  I like to say currently because I hope and pray daily, she returns back home.  She has been approved for KanCare or something like that.  For me, it is equivalent to WIC, Medicaid, etc.  They told her she needed to get her social security card updated because it still has the last name Fige instead of Moore.  Feel free to dig into older posts for that "Jerry Springer" story.  She had the paperwork with her as well from Bryan's dad who was a lawyer that drew up the documents to have her last name legally changed to Moore.  She called us afterwards and said, "That lady was so rude!"  Bryan and I both told her unfortunately many of those people do not enjoy their jobs.  I had one a few weeks ago that made me so angry, I almost cried.  But as we know, Claire is a red-head and tends to have way much more firecracker than her Momma.  Below is her conversation with the rep in person.

Lady:  Why wasn't this taken care of when the paperwork was done?

Claire:  I don't know, I was 4.

Lady:  Well, why didn't your parents get it taken care of?

Claire: Again, I don't know, I was 4.

All I can say is watch out for pregnant red heads y'all.

Book Readers Come Hither!!

Guys, I am not sure who is more excited about reading and reviewing books, me or the person I am helping!!!!  Stay tuned for more updates.  

XOXO ~ Nicole

Sick, but Still a Coupon Princess 👸!

 This stomach virus I picked up from Bingo, it ain't playing.  I started feeling better yesterday I thought but then woke up again in the middle of the night, super sweaty, and had diarrhea again.  I didn't get out of bed until around 9:30. Ate some bland noodles, drank lots of water, laid back down.  Woke up again with well, you know, drank more water and laid back down.  It has been a day.  But I was able to get some couponing done in between!  I told Bryan, now this was over a few days, but when I told him he said, so you just woke up and made sure to check deals when you were sick??

No silly, I had some things I had to check on and while I did those, scanned a few deals and voila!!  You're welcome.

That is 3 13.5 lbs. of cat food, 18 total.  The smaller bags were an oopsie and paid sadly 18 for those but that was on me.  Damn you sickness!!!  And then that is 5 12 count toilet paper for..... 8 bucks!!!

XOXO ~ Nicole