Who Are You Today?

 How did you sleep last night?  I slept well, like I mentioned in a previous post, that is not an issue this time around.  Some mornings I do not even get out of bed until noon.  Bryan and I have this thing where if I am not up by 11 am, he comes and checks on me.  When you have a wife with mental health issues, I am sure it is compared to turning the handle on that damn Jack-in-the-Box.  Awful toy.  But he is my rock.  And he can tell just how I respond if I am having a good day or bad one.  I kept waking up in the middle of the night for one, and then it seemed like my left arm was hurting, tingling, so then I thought I was having a heart attack and sniffed for burnt toast.  Something I have been told.  No clue if is real or not though.  Imagine when I used to watch House.  I was pretty sure I was dying from whatever disease they had going on.  I had to stop watching that for my own mental health.  LOL.

Then that one stopped and a little later, the right arm started doing the same thing!    And sometimes, it felt like my fingers were asleep.  After I got up, my wrists were bothering me and so is my upper back, around my neck area.  I took some IB Profin about an hour ago so that is helping.  I guess it is just one of the wonders of getting old.  As my dad says, getting old is not for the weak.  Now of course it didn't help that I went to bed worried about money, the text I sent for help, but the Zoloft is still helping tremendously.  Somehow, I am able to just shut that off and go back to sleep.

I am very happy someone close to me is helping with the bills.  I still have that one application pending, continue to pray on that one.  That was a sigh of relief when the text response was good news, but then I log in to check on my status for getting approved to make a profit on my blog, only to get discouraging news.  If you are a writer, or even a dreamer, you know how that can hurt.  If any of my blog readers have any ideas or ways to help, please do.  We would be so appreciative!!  It made me not want to write.  It made me think why am I doing this?  And then I remembered that you are doing this because Nicole you like to write.  And you love blogging.  And you do have readers out there that care. 

This evening Bryan and I are going to Mandy's birthday party.  It is BINGO Ya'll!!   At first, I was like I do not have gray hair.  But she got me ad Bud Lite and the snack bar.  And Bryan is the DD!!!!  Wish me luck!

~ Nicole

Ramen for you, Ramen for me....

 Are you a ramen fan? I know I am, and my family. We like to get the cheap ones that I am sure most of you guys are familiar with. But we add things to the ramen to make it "fancy". Hard boiled eggs, maybe some veggies, and recently I used the beef flavored ramen and added some canned diced tomatoes and of course some of the juice. DELICIOUS!! What all have you tried?

***This post is originally from different platform, but the responses are so AWESOME, I must share!!!! I will post more another day.

XOXO ~ Nicole

Holding It Together-ish

 I feel like I have so much going on right now.  I don't, but it seems like it.  I guess it is more emotional than anything.  I have one position left still being reviewed that I applied to for a worm from home job that pays salary AND commission.  I know, a Unicorn for sure!!!  Claire has been helping us along with other friends and family members, but we are at the point now where Claire needs to use her funds elsewhere and family/friends are spent.  I am hanging on to that positive response from that company.  Not sure what will happen after that yet, but as they say, one day at a time.

It does mess with my head a bit.  Zoloft thus far has continued to be a hero, but I have found myself sleeping more than normal in the last few days.  But I would much prefer that over that damn insomnia!  And continue to take my "old lady" pills before bed, magnesium, black cohosh (ladies if you are going through this peri-menopause thang or menopause, you want to know about these.), potassium, and Zinc if I am feeling an illness coming on possibly.  I take a few others in the morning but those are my blood pressure and Zoloft.  Oh, and sometimes Vitamin D!  It is hard to get milk around this bitch with Taylor.  But I do try to get out in the sun as much as possible however the Sun these days?  I think The Devil himself set that up.  But I try to knock out all the badness and negative comments that tell me I suck, you are a loser, you would be better off not here - I am able to get past those and snuggle back down and sleep.  In my safe, pink, comfy, squishy, vanilla scented bed.

And then my brother.  I don't think I have spoken much about him in a long time, but he has struggled for a while with drugs and alcohol and then his young daughter was taken from him.  He is in a much better place now, mind and location, and I am super proud of him.  We have been in contact since he decided to get clean.  Our Mother on the other hand is hell bent to try and get to him and especially take his daughter.  She is safe and sound in another state with her maternal grandmother and thriving.  If you have read my blog for some time, my Mother is not a good person.  It would be like picking this beautiful fruit and then you bite into it, and it is rotten to the core.  With bugs and mold too.  Since she doesn't know where he is and no one will share the information, she has decided to file a missing person's report for him.  And she decided to name myself and Dad as people of interest.  How do I do know this?  My Dad told me and showed the emails.  My brother is working on filing a restraining against her which I fully support.  He will not get better with her in his ear.

I am trying my best to be there for my brother.  I am proud of his accomplishments, and I do believe he will succeed.  I just don't want to have to speak, email, any communication from Mother.  When she passes away, it is going to be a sad day for her because not one of her 3 children will be there or care.

Please keep me in your prayers for this new job and Momma making some money!!!  💵 💵

XOXO ~ Nicole

Amanda

 Amanda today is your birthday.  I'm not sure if we have ever even celebrated each other's birthdays in person.  I don't recall them, so I am guessing no.

I remember when we became best friends, and we spent as much time as possible together.  That summer, I had to go and visit my mom in Georgia.  It was going to be the first time we had been away from each other which to us seemed like the end of the world.  

Your Mom took us to Galveston.  I believe she had a Jeep Cherokee at that time.  She loved this song called "Ain't Even Done With The Night" by John (I think he lost the Cougar or Mellencamp, I forget which one) eventually.  She played it often, so it was a good thing we liked it so much!!  It was the end of the trip, you guys were bringing me back home and we heard Clint Black (you had such a crush on him with your red cowboy boots - I personally thought he looked like a Shar-Pei.) and Wynonna Judd's song "A Bad Goodbye" and it became "our song".  

I gave you my Fievel, from An American Tail, he was my most beloved possession at that time.  When we reconnected, I remember you bringing him up when I came to swim with you.  I glowed inside and probably out (could have been that damn sun), that you remembered him.

Most people can't say they are in touch or see their HS bestie often, but I get to!

***PS.  I still hold it against her for finding new friends while away tho.  ;)***

Love, Nicole

Baby Grayson Update!

Bbay Grayson was not very cooperative today but look at that foot and leg!!!!!  Can't wait to meet my grand-baby!!!

 

Attack of The Killer Onions!!!

 I like to call myself a pro at stacking shit in the fridge.  Actually, I consider it like Tetris although that game stresses me out but at least there is no timer for the refrigerator.  Really though, Bryan can confirm and asks me to help the dishwasher and the fridge.  He has gotten a lot, I mean TONS better about the dishwasher, but he still asks me for my SKILLZ for the fridge.

Then last night happened.  We had a Loc-n-Lock (If you do not have these, you are missing out!)  in the fridge with 1 onion cut in half, and then half a bell pepper.  I reached in, grabbed something, and when I went to pull it out and turned my back to close the door, I must have clipped it.

It comes tumbling out, I try to catch it with my free hand, which is my left because I'm a righty.  It hits in the fleshy area right below the thumb.  Then bounces to my knee, I try to bounce it up like a damn soccer ball (I was bound and determined not to drop that bitch because then I would have to hear it from Bryan) and then drops on my baby pinkie toe!  Knee picture below.  

I told Bryan the next day, Nicole 0 - Onions - 1

Never A Dull Moment

 As I have mentioned, Taylor is a very picky eater.  As an adult, he will eat whatever we put in front of him begrudgingly, but if it was his choice he would live off of cereal, ramen, chicken tenders or nuggets, fries, you get the picture.

Yesterday I offered him soup and salad or soup and sandwich.  Soup to Taylor is chicken noodle soup poured out of the can.  He requested sandwich (grilled cheese) and soup.  I got the can of soup out like normal, but before I opened it, he came back and said he would like tomato soup.  Bryan and I both looked at each other because this kid has never even had tomato soup before.  I knew right then and there he went back to his room and googled best soups to eat with a grilled cheese.  So, I warmed it up for him, Bryan added some croutons per Taylor's request, and he proceeded to dup his grilled cheese and then eat the soup.  But if you could have seen his face!  LMAO You could tell he was not impressed.  A little while ago, I get a text from him from his room.  It said, I didn't really enjoy the tomato soup just to let you know.  I love that guy.

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Also, our TNR'd babies/colony I have told you guys about?  Some of them we allow to come inside to cool off, etc. - one of those is Cleopatra.  Bryan gets up way earlier than I do and takes care of the morning feedings and such.  This morning he told me Cleopatra is a vampire.  I said why?  He said that she is so polite.  She waits for me to invite her in, like a vampire!!  😂