Loving The "Dark" Side

 I keep forgetting to post this!!

Ok, if you do not already know from most of my pins etc. where I advertise my blog, I am all into Horoscopes, Crystals, Sage, Tarot Cars (learning how to do that soon!!!!), Wicca, and so on.  Yes, I believe In God, but I also believe - If you truly believe in something unless you're trying to go all Manson or 50 child brides on me, there is nothing wrong with it.

I posted a long time ago how Bryan and I met.  How he was my waiter, yes, and he did go with me and the bestie to the hot tub that night.  And then we started dating but I never saw that man at night because he was into drinking, drugs, his friends and was used to being Single as a Pringle.  

During our courtship, my BFF and I happened upon a Wiccan store.  You bet your bottom dollar I bought me a book.   And yes, Bryan knows all about it.  My BFF and I happened across a "spell" to set an extra plate at the table that evening when we went to eat at the restaurant Bryan worked at.  Had to put food and everything on it.  We looked nuts I am sure, but I still love the fact that her and I both believe it worked.  We may have ended up splitting up for quite some time, but he has told me he never dated or had sex with anyone else.  He loves me!!!  He is one of those kinds of guys that didn't sleep around, just had real relationships which I think is SOOO damn cute.

Random Goodies

 Please tell me why men get such a bad attitude when it comes to things that frustrate them.  Hang in there with me.

I work from home, so Claire's room was turned into my home office.  I love it.  I can sit and look around the room, which is still purple from her choice, and reminisce with her pictures and decorations.  Bryan has done very well with getting it set up with everything I need to work, and there is a TV so I can put old movies on I have seen a million times.  Currently I have The First Wives Club on.  Great "chick-flick" as my husband says.  It kills him because I have movies on allll day but then when I go to the living room ask him if he would like to watch a movie.  He is all really???  But I like movies and I am referring to new ones that I haven't seen.  The office is right next to the garage, and it gets hot as hell up in here so fan must be on!  I turned the light on and one of the bulbs went out.  I begrudgingly went to go tell the "maintenance man" AKA Bryan.  Sometimes, if it is something he is CHOOSING to do, he is a happy little worker.  Otherwise, I usually get the "damn y'all are hard on shit" comment.

So, he goes and gets the step ladder, removes the dish thingy that protects the bulbs, screws, blah blah.  Then he starts struggling to put it all back together.  Here come the curse words.  I offered my help to which he refused and then it was my fault that I wasn't helping.  We finally got it all back together and Momma can see again.  As for the maintenance man, I told his ass I was going to report him to HR.  ;)

***Update, I have to yank the damn chain to get it to even move to a different speed.  Thank God it finally went to high and that bitch just going to stay there.

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While I have you guys, I got a question.  I love couponing and am really good at it.  Let's just say we will not be running out of soap, deodorant, body wash, paper towels, or toilet paper for quite a bit.  I don't care who you are, not worrying about running out of toilet paper is a great feeling.  Before money was an issue, we always purchased the same brand.  But couponing, you get the deals!!    We have had Walmart brand, Kroger, Walgreens, you get the picture.  Then there are the more expensive brands, right?  I do not have any complaints about any except Cottonelle.  It is soft to the touch, has those cute ripples, even my aunt only uses them.  So, tell me why every time we get it, forgive me if I am wrong, but aren't those ripples supposed to keep you "clean"?  What am I missing here?  Because it never fails, when I use it after going #2, there are some serious pieces left behind.  Yesterday, what looked like a tiny roll of wadded up toilet paper, just fell out my butt!!!  What am I doing wrong?

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I know these are kind of random posts so bear with me.  Movie wise we are now on the Flashdance.  If you are a lady, shame on you if you haven't seen it and are old enough.  LOL

Can you believe Dolly Parton died?  Well, I mean kind of since she was 80 but I just saw Tim Curry died as well!!  I think I am more upset about that one.  I love The Rocky Horror Picture show - my dad blessed me with that shiny nugget when I was just a kid.  I remember him telling me how they used to get dressed up, go to the movies, and they would bring props etc.  How cool is that?  Now with my anxiety, I don't even go to the movies but still.  What awesome memories!!!

PS.  I know I STILL owe you guys some part twos.  They will come, I promise.  Oh, like if you build it, they will come.  <3

PSS. On to Indecent Proposal!! PSS.S... 😂 I sounds like a snnaakkkeee, a slithery slithery snake 🐍.

Watching Indecent Proposal as an adult and with money issues!!  I would do it.  I will ask Bryan his opinion when he wakes from his nap.  What say you?  And come one, Robert Reford looks old in the movie but handsome!  Oh, and a waterbed to boot!!!

Bryan said only if I wanted to.  -_-

XOXO ~ Nicole

And Today in New Pregnancy Things..🌟

 I am sure there will be more, but I am loving the new texts from Claire while pregnant.  

Not Thriving, Not Dying......Just Vibing

I hope everyone is having a "Tubular" Tuesday!!  If you do not know that term, you're not old enough.  LOL.

I know I owe you guys some part two posts, and I will get there.  Just been a bit frazzled.  I am not sure that is quite the word I am looking for, but after everything with my sister's phone call, I just cried.  A BIG ass crying baby!!!  I went to visit a friend last night and it looked like I was exhausted and beat up from all the puffiness.  And I felt worse because as soon as I walked in her front door, I word vomited all over her.  But sometimes, that is what you need.  Especially because Bryan gets upset when I cry.  He means well, but I can't help but cry sometimes when I get overwhelmed, sick, or my heart has been broken somehow.  That bitch got a LOT of duct tape on it.  After speaking with my aunt and then my dad, I feel much better about it.  My sister is too much like my mom.  And words hurt.  Also, I think her heart be like the Grinch at times.  But like I mentioned prior, we were all raised differently.  I wear my heart on my sleeve unfortunately.

And I am still currently "unemployed".  As I mentioned selling life insurance is hard work.  So, family members have been helping us with money for bills, we go to the food pantry, my dad is going to restock our deer meat when he comes on the 4th, and my old boss takes us once a month to Costco.  It is funny, as a kid I hated meat and would rather die, even in my 30's before I would eat deer.  Look at me now!! lol Honestly, I love using it instead of ground beef, less fattening.  I guess what I am trying to say is we are definitely having a hard time right now.  But we have a roof over our head, utilities, my car is now paid off!!!!, and we have each other.  Until next time.....

XOXO ~ Nicole

 

Just a funny for the day....

 

Scars Tell a Story

 Last night I had a conversation with my sister.  I am the oldest and she is the youngest.  Then there is my brother in the middle.  She is in the military and works out there in the La Porte TX area making good money with the oil & gas or something like that.  All I know is when I was a kid, my dad was a mill writer and when I told the other kids that, they were all like a what?  Same here kids.  At that age all I could say was when he comes home, his work outfit stands up on its own, smells, and my mom has to wash it separately.  As I got older, all I know is he said I keep the lights on baby.  So, I assume my sister does the same thing.

I started off via text, because that is all she does.  Talk to text or text.  I usually don't care but what started off as an innocent conversation got muddy.  I can't blame her.  A lot of shit happened in our family when we were children that shouldn't have happened.  I spent many years doing the same thing.  I would drink, get drunk, and reminisce which always led to me crying.   She brought up old memories, ones I had buried pretty successfully, opened new ones, it took a lot, but I did not cry and I did not go to bed with it heavy on my mind.  Scars are scars, they tell a story.  But I do not want to open new cuts, new sores, new things to fester about.  We all three were raised very differently, when we were younger, we were "brother and sister" but after some time, still as children, we were in different homes.  Experiencing different things.  Being taught different things. At some point we all had awful things done to us.

We all struggle in some way or another, but as I was saying, I have worked very hard to get past all of that.  Gonna have to do a part two folks - I have cried twice now.  Ugh.  Not so much the subject although I felt bad talking to my aunt about it.  And then Claire shocked me with a text that caught me off guard.  Everything is fine with her, the baby, etc. - So To B continued...........  😢 

XOXO ~ Nicole

We Have a Name!!

 I know I mentioned when I started blogging again how Claire is now pregnant.  They finally made a choice for the name!!!!  Grayson Hayes!!!!!!!!!!!!  I love it so much and can't wait to meet him!!!

XOXO ~ Nicole