No, no Mr. Monster - not THAT kind of cookie. Yes ladies I am referring to your lady bits, the va jay-jay or whatever it is that you call her. I wanna hear your embarrassing stories or just something you think is funny that has happened to you and your *ahem* friend. I will go first,

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I was 19 and my boyfriend and I were doing some wild and crazy 19 year old sex when I let out this huge scream, and it was not from pleasure. I clutched my abdomen and curled into the fetal position, begging for death. Boyfriend jumps off the bed staring at me like I have grown two heads. After laying there crying for a good two hours, he decides rubbing my back and pleading with me to feel better isn't working, so he fumbles my clothes back on and carries me to his car.

It is 2:30 in the morning and I am at the emergency room with a boyfriend of only a few months. They get me into a room and Boyfriend is in there with me, holding my hand and mumbling what I think was a prayer.

In walks the doctor and introduces himself as Dr. Hand - how appropriate. Boyfriend and I look at each other and can barely contain our grins.

Dr: So, what were you doing when this happened?

Me: *Thinking* Are you shitting me?? Like he doesn't know! Why is he making say this OUT LOUD?!? Uhhh, we were having intercourse.

Dr: How exactly were you positioned?

Me: *Grimacing*

Boyfriend: We were doing it doggie style.

Me: Aww, he is so damn helpful!

After some poking and prodding around and a quick ultra sound - turns out I had a cyst that burst on one of my fallopian tubes and Boyfriend had managed to tear my labia. There was much screaming every time I peed for quite some time.

So, now its yall's turn! Lets hear it!!

You know you're sick when....

I just got back from the gas station because I wanted a cappuccino. After returning, I happened to glance at myself in the bathroom mirror and saw, my hair is friggin everywhere from sleeping and I am wearing a t-shirt and men's boxer briefs! Yeah - I just went out in my PJ's looking like shit.

Something Special For Special K

I love Toni from http://guruofmyhome.blogspot.com/ and I love her even more now that she has given me a chance to cheer my sick ass up with a contest! If you havent check her blog out yet (shame on you), go and see her - I promise you'll love her too!

The Results Are In!

I went and visited my charming doctor today and it is official, I have a serious sinus infection. 35.00 for the visit, and 60.00 worth of meds later and I still feel like shit. Talk about a B I G cry baby over here. I can honestly say this is my first time to be sick and having no family in town, even my close family left last Saturday for a cruise. So, if I die all of my animals would have eaten my ass before anyone thinks twice about poor pitiful me.

On a funnier note, while checking out the aisles at Walgreen's waiting on my prescriptions to be filled, I found myself in the condom aisle. I wished right then I had a camera on my phone because right in front of the selection was this little electronic button sticking out that read "please push and an attendant will be right there to assist you". Do you guys know how hard it was for me not to push that damn button??

Help a girl out!

Hi mommiebear2,Congratulations!!!You have entered into final for the contest Who gets this Starsky and Hutch DVD? http://whogets.com//contest.php?id=150.

Okay so I am up for another - work yall's magic for me since I am all sick and going to the dr today!!! :(

Happy 4th of July!

I love the 4th! It is one of my favorite holidays to spend with family and usually we do the same thing every year. Meet up at some one's house, drink beer and cook out, and pop some fireworks. And every year Claire and Taylor cry over the noise and end up in the house. But it is still fun, at least the fireworks are for the adults.

But this year is way different than that. I actually took my family (Bryan, Claire, and Taylor) to the airport so they could fly out to Georgia and spend some time with his family. Yes, you heard me right I I am completely alone (if you don't count the pets) for an entire week & weekend.

You would think I would be jumping for joy and having a damn party, BUT, not only are my sinuses kicking my ass all of a sudden - I also miss my family something fierce! I actually called Bryan at like 4 am this morning because I couldn't sleep.

Bryan: *Mumbling* Hello.

Me: Hi honey!

Bryan: Sweetie, it is 5 o'clock in the morning here. What are you doing?

Me: I just called to tell you that I miss you and I can't wait for you to come home. And it turns out, I actually like you a whole bunch.

Bryan: *Chuckling* Well that is good to know.

Oh You Shouldnt Have!

This is my new best friend!! http://forthelove-amamasmantra.blogspot.com/ Why you may ask? Because she awarded me my very first blog bling.

Every time one of these nifty little awards come around, I have to admit I am scouring every one's blogs just hoping for a glimpse of my name. It had never happened, until now and I would kiss your feet if I could. I feel so special!! You totally rock out!!!

Now for the 5 people I want to award this to.

Holly over at http://davishousehold.blogspot.com/. Its nice to read her sweet blog and actually know I see her from time to time. Oh, and work with her cool ass husband.

http://littlemonkies.blogspot.com/ I just love her blog.

http://www.marmitebreath.blogspot.com/ She was one of my very first blogs that I stalked.

http://roomconqueso.blogspot.com/ Her blog name alone should win something.

And of course Min from http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/ because she is my hero!