Crackers

Today I was having a mid morning snack of saltine crackers, don't ask - I just love them. But every time I eat them it brings back memories. Good and bad memories that make me realize how far I have truly come.

I was 23 when Claire was born and had a child for a husband. We had a nice apartment, a car, and I worked full time at a day care. Drew (my husband) was constantly between jobs and spent more time out of work then anything else. I was pregnant and supporting us, living to the exact penny. Every time I got paid each dollar had a place to go - electric bill, water bill, rent, and so on and so forth. We were poor but we were making it and happy.

After we brought Claire home, I went back to work in just a few weeks but the good thing was she got to come with me (being a daycare and all) and they even let me work in the infant room so I could be close to her. But soon, I had to start paying childcare as well, even though we got a discount she still wasn't free and it still wasn't cheap. We still had all of the same bills if not more with a brand new baby.

I felt like the mother of two and somehow I was holding it all together. They depended on me and it is a wonder looking back that I didn't have a nervous break down.

I was able to pay for all of our bills out of my check but I never had enough for food, clothing, diapers, and pretty much all things my precious doll needed. So I stole. I had to steal our groceries, clothes for Claire, pretty much everything needed to live and run our little home. And even though I got plenty of food for Drew and Claire, I never really got myself anything but crackers. I lived off of crackers and anything daycare may have left over after lunch time.

Scary as this all sounds, I couldn't have been any happier at the time. And look where I am now? Amazing isn't it?