Who Are You Today?

 How did you sleep last night?  I slept well, like I mentioned in a previous post, that is not an issue this time around.  Some mornings I do not even get out of bed until noon.  Bryan and I have this thing where if I am not up by 11 am, he comes and checks on me.  When you have a wife with mental health issues, I am sure it is compared to turning the handle on that damn Jack-in-the-Box.  Awful toy.  But he is my rock.  And he can tell just how I respond if I am having a good day or bad one.  I kept waking up in the middle of the night for one, and then it seemed like my left arm was hurting, tingling, so then I thought I was having a heart attack and sniffed for burnt toast.  Something I have been told.  No clue if is real or not though.  Imagine when I used to watch House.  I was pretty sure I was dying from whatever disease they had going on.  I had to stop watching that for my own mental health.  LOL.

Then that one stopped and a little later, the right arm started doing the same thing!    And sometimes, it felt like my fingers were asleep.  After I got up, my wrists were bothering me and so is my upper back, around my neck area.  I took some IB Profin about an hour ago so that is helping.  I guess it is just one of the wonders of getting old.  As my dad says, getting old is not for the weak.  Now of course it didn't help that I went to bed worried about money, the text I sent for help, but the Zoloft is still helping tremendously.  Somehow, I am able to just shut that off and go back to sleep.

I am very happy someone close to me is helping with the bills.  I still have that one application pending, continue to pray on that one.  That was a sigh of relief when the text response was good news, but then I log in to check on my status for getting approved to make a profit on my blog, only to get discouraging news.  If you are a writer, or even a dreamer, you know how that can hurt.  If any of my blog readers have any ideas or ways to help, please do.  We would be so appreciative!!  It made me not want to write.  It made me think why am I doing this?  And then I remembered that you are doing this because Nicole you like to write.  And you love blogging.  And you do have readers out there that care. 

This evening Bryan and I are going to Mandy's birthday party.  It is BINGO Ya'll!!   At first, I was like I do not have gray hair.  But she got me ad Bud Lite and the snack bar.  And Bryan is the DD!!!!  Wish me luck!

~ Nicole

Ramen for you, Ramen for me....

 Are you a ramen fan? I know I am, and my family. We like to get the cheap ones that I am sure most of you guys are familiar with. But we add things to the ramen to make it "fancy". Hard boiled eggs, maybe some veggies, and recently I used the beef flavored ramen and added some canned diced tomatoes and of course some of the juice. DELICIOUS!! What all have you tried?

***This post is originally from different platform, but the responses are so AWESOME, I must share!!!! I will post more another day.

XOXO ~ Nicole

Holding It Together-ish

 I feel like I have so much going on right now.  I don't, but it seems like it.  I guess it is more emotional than anything.  I have one position left still being reviewed that I applied to for a worm from home job that pays salary AND commission.  I know, a Unicorn for sure!!!  Claire has been helping us along with other friends and family members, but we are at the point now where Claire needs to use her funds elsewhere and family/friends are spent.  I am hanging on to that positive response from that company.  Not sure what will happen after that yet, but as they say, one day at a time.

It does mess with my head a bit.  Zoloft thus far has continued to be a hero, but I have found myself sleeping more than normal in the last few days.  But I would much prefer that over that damn insomnia!  And continue to take my "old lady" pills before bed, magnesium, black cohosh (ladies if you are going through this peri-menopause thang or menopause, you want to know about these.), potassium, and Zinc if I am feeling an illness coming on possibly.  I take a few others in the morning but those are my blood pressure and Zoloft.  Oh, and sometimes Vitamin D!  It is hard to get milk around this bitch with Taylor.  But I do try to get out in the sun as much as possible however the Sun these days?  I think The Devil himself set that up.  But I try to knock out all the badness and negative comments that tell me I suck, you are a loser, you would be better off not here - I am able to get past those and snuggle back down and sleep.  In my safe, pink, comfy, squishy, vanilla scented bed.

And then my brother.  I don't think I have spoken much about him in a long time, but he has struggled for a while with drugs and alcohol and then his young daughter was taken from him.  He is in a much better place now, mind and location, and I am super proud of him.  We have been in contact since he decided to get clean.  Our Mother on the other hand is hell bent to try and get to him and especially take his daughter.  She is safe and sound in another state with her maternal grandmother and thriving.  If you have read my blog for some time, my Mother is not a good person.  It would be like picking this beautiful fruit and then you bite into it, and it is rotten to the core.  With bugs and mold too.  Since she doesn't know where he is and no one will share the information, she has decided to file a missing person's report for him.  And she decided to name myself and Dad as people of interest.  How do I do know this?  My Dad told me and showed the emails.  My brother is working on filing a restraining against her which I fully support.  He will not get better with her in his ear.

I am trying my best to be there for my brother.  I am proud of his accomplishments, and I do believe he will succeed.  I just don't want to have to speak, email, any communication from Mother.  When she passes away, it is going to be a sad day for her because not one of her 3 children will be there or care.

Please keep me in your prayers for this new job and Momma making some money!!!  💵 💵

XOXO ~ Nicole

Amanda

 Amanda today is your birthday.  I'm not sure if we have ever even celebrated each other's birthdays in person.  I don't recall them, so I am guessing no.

I remember when we became best friends, and we spent as much time as possible together.  That summer, I had to go and visit my mom in Georgia.  It was going to be the first time we had been away from each other which to us seemed like the end of the world.  

Your Mom took us to Galveston.  I believe she had a Jeep Cherokee at that time.  She loved this song called "Ain't Even Done With The Night" by John (I think he lost the Cougar or Mellencamp, I forget which one) eventually.  She played it often, so it was a good thing we liked it so much!!  It was the end of the trip, you guys were bringing me back home and we heard Clint Black (you had such a crush on him with your red cowboy boots - I personally thought he looked like a Shar-Pei.) and Wynonna Judd's song "A Bad Goodbye" and it became "our song".  

I gave you my Fievel, from An American Tail, he was my most beloved possession at that time.  When we reconnected, I remember you bringing him up when I came to swim with you.  I glowed inside and probably out (could have been that damn sun), that you remembered him.

Most people can't say they are in touch or see their HS bestie often, but I get to!

***PS.  I still hold it against her for finding new friends while away tho.  ;)***

Love, Nicole

Baby Grayson Update!

Bbay Grayson was not very cooperative today but look at that foot and leg!!!!!  Can't wait to meet my grand-baby!!!

 

Attack of The Killer Onions!!!

 I like to call myself a pro at stacking shit in the fridge.  Actually, I consider it like Tetris although that game stresses me out but at least there is no timer for the refrigerator.  Really though, Bryan can confirm and asks me to help the dishwasher and the fridge.  He has gotten a lot, I mean TONS better about the dishwasher, but he still asks me for my SKILLZ for the fridge.

Then last night happened.  We had a Loc-n-Lock (If you do not have these, you are missing out!)  in the fridge with 1 onion cut in half, and then half a bell pepper.  I reached in, grabbed something, and when I went to pull it out and turned my back to close the door, I must have clipped it.

It comes tumbling out, I try to catch it with my free hand, which is my left because I'm a righty.  It hits in the fleshy area right below the thumb.  Then bounces to my knee, I try to bounce it up like a damn soccer ball (I was bound and determined not to drop that bitch because then I would have to hear it from Bryan) and then drops on my baby pinkie toe!  Knee picture below.  

I told Bryan the next day, Nicole 0 - Onions - 1

Never A Dull Moment

 As I have mentioned, Taylor is a very picky eater.  As an adult, he will eat whatever we put in front of him begrudgingly, but if it was his choice he would live off of cereal, ramen, chicken tenders or nuggets, fries, you get the picture.

Yesterday I offered him soup and salad or soup and sandwich.  Soup to Taylor is chicken noodle soup poured out of the can.  He requested sandwich (grilled cheese) and soup.  I got the can of soup out like normal, but before I opened it, he came back and said he would like tomato soup.  Bryan and I both looked at each other because this kid has never even had tomato soup before.  I knew right then and there he went back to his room and googled best soups to eat with a grilled cheese.  So, I warmed it up for him, Bryan added some croutons per Taylor's request, and he proceeded to dup his grilled cheese and then eat the soup.  But if you could have seen his face!  LMAO You could tell he was not impressed.  A little while ago, I get a text from him from his room.  It said, I didn't really enjoy the tomato soup just to let you know.  I love that guy.

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Also, our TNR'd babies/colony I have told you guys about?  Some of them we allow to come inside to cool off, etc. - one of those is Cleopatra.  Bryan gets up way earlier than I do and takes care of the morning feedings and such.  This morning he told me Cleopatra is a vampire.  I said why?  He said that she is so polite.  She waits for me to invite her in, like a vampire!!  😂 

I Guess I Have Always Been a Storyteller

 I think I mentioned the other day that I started writing at a pretty young age, if my memory is correct, I started writing around the age 8-10 years old.  I don't remember the exact age but, I do know it was around that time.  I started writing short stories.  I lived with my Mother at that time in George in a townhouse, just the two of us.  Rough times, but I survived.  Anyway, my Mother's room was upstairs, and mine was directly underneath.  I remember when she would wake me in the mornings for school, I would stay in bed and wait to hear her shower to turn off because I could hear it in the wall.  I had my own bathroom which was awesome!  Also, I had a window in my shower!!!  I had never seen that before; I loved opening it and the steam would billow out.  It was actually quite lower than ones I saw later in my life, but it opened to the woods in the back (one of the things I loved about living in GA) so I could easily look out while showering.  However, one time, some kids were walking behind the townhouses my age and I freaked.  When I lived in FL, there was one in the shower as well, but it was much higher.  I still loved it tho and wish we had one.  And if you think about it, it could help with the moisture up in there from showering.  At my grandma's and great-grandmothers, they had windows as well but in the wall above the toilet.  That made no sense to me as a kid and whenever I had to use the potty, I was convinced everyone could hear me peeing outside.  Now, makes sense, way better than an air freshener when you done stank up the rest room!!  And my God, could we use that!  Taylor is notorious for his farts and #2's.  His farts since he was a kid smell like a dying old man.  Stale, nasty.  There are no words for the other.  All I can say is if I go in too soon after him, I start doing the throw up noises.

So back to the townhouse, I love to read and still do.  But I was an avid reader when I was young.  I was alone a lot, but Mother did get me great books to read.  I remember when she got me the Chronicles of Narnia set.  The smell alone brings me joy.  New books, just waiting for you to open them and discover the worlds inside.  I was so proud of owning it.  She also bought me A Bridge to Terabithia.  Again, my imagine took over and remember those woods I told you about?  I loved going in there, with my dog my Mother eventually got me, she was a shit-zu and "we", my Mother would never allow ME to name an animal, Ebony Jewels.  She was the perfect size for me, fit in my backpack, and the fun we would have in the woods with my imagination.  Our very own Terabithia or Narnia depending on my desire that day.  Like I said, I was alone a lot at a young age, my imagination was pretty much all I had.  Later mt siblings would tell me whenever we were altogether at a relative's home for the summer, etc. - it was no fun without me. 

Eventually I guess my Mother started having issues covering the bills so she got a roommate.  This was before I got Ebony.  Her name, I can't remember but her cocker spaniel was named Jamie.  My mother had great delight telling my Aunt that, and she would get aggravated when I would tell her about them because I get it - A dog did have her name.  I wish I could remember the young lady's name, but I adored her!!  She actually spent time with me, took me places in her cute little Volkswagen Bug, told me she loved me and how cute I was.  My Mother didn't do that.  She took over my room, and all of my shit was moved into the hallway closet.  That was my "room", and I slept with my Mother.  I would hang out in my "closet room" and write little stories.  I loved writing them.  My only issue was the ending.  Still is.  And when I would go out in the woods, I would make up stories out loud, me and Ebony.  I wouldn't change that for the world!  My Mother ended up kicking out her roommate because she got jealous of our relationship.  Great Mother eh?

I have continued to write here and there.  When I was staying with my grandfather one summer, while learning how to sign language (Thank you Sesame Street!!), I pretended I owned a daycare and wrote name after name that I liked or came up with for the "registry".  I also created amazing worlds in the front and backyards, and names and stories for all of my new "friends."  We had a tennis ball named Wilson, yes, I made Wilson cool before Tom Hanks lol, a dented-in ping pong ball (can't remember his name at the moment", a golf ball named Titelus, there was a Dun-Lop too but I forget which ball he was.  But you get the drift, I was a sucker for misfits.  I also had a button family that lived in a special drawer and would "cook up" a mean meal in the backyard out of those strange bean-like things on the trees along with whatever else I found out there.

Will I ever write a book?  I don't think so - But I do love blogging which is kind of the same however who knows where God will take us.

XOXO ~ Nicole 

Sad September

It is finally September, which is now a hard month for me. This month is one year since I was wrongfully terminated from my career at that time. If you have followed me for a while, you have seen my struggle and journey through depression, anxiety, highs and lows, I could go on and on.

I do have my life insurance license, finally (wasn't that a fiasco to get! lol), but it isn't something I want to do full time. More like a part-time thing. I did wake up with a heavy heart this morning thinking about where I was supposed to have been by now. I know God has a plan.

I know I haven't really talked a lot about what has happened here with losing my job, etc - but you can follow a bit along on latest posts.

XOXOXO ~ Nicole

Come Play With Me....

Zombie Apocalypse: How long would I survive a zombie apocalypse?  I am thinking a day, maybe more if Bryan is with me.

First Concert: Who was the first musical artist I ever saw live?  New Kids on the Block!!!

Time Travel: Would I rather visit the distant past or the far future?  Distant Past - we have lost so many family members too soon.

Emoji Usage: What is my most frequently used emoji?  😂 

Coffee or Tea: What is my ultimate caffeine fix of choice?   Dunkin's iced coffee with 2 shots of expresso.

Dream Job: What did I want to be when I was growing up?  A vet!  As you can tell I am a huge animal lover but two incidents left me a changed young lady.  Plus, I suck at math & science.

Rainy Day: Do I love a good thunderstorm or hate rainy weather?  A great thunderstorm as long as I am at home or work!

Board Games: Am I competitive or relaxed when playing games?  Competitive AF!

Reality TV: Would I ever agree to go on a reality show?  Yes, but it would depend on the theme.

Pet Type: Am I strictly a dog person, a cat person, or both?  Allllll animals except for snakes & spiders.

Your Turn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Salvatore Edward Anthony Vulcano

 Have you ever seen or heard of Impracticable Jokers?

My husband is a huge fan and turned me onto them.  We have been watching them since Claire was probably in high school.  I am not usually into those kinds of shows, but they crack me up!  Now occasionally they get to be a little too "boyish" but for the most part, I love it.

Sal is one of the guys on there.  If you haven't seen it or heard of it, it is a group of friends from high school, maybe even before and they "prank" each other.  Like I said, we have been watching it for some time however the other evening I dreamed about Sal.  I have a lot of dreams, they're like movies due to my Zoloft but I hadn't ever dreamed out him before.

I was back at my aunt's house who raised me from 10 on, that's home.  Sal was there and we were flirting etc.  I offered to make him a soda, but then I saw we had beer too, but he said no, we don't need alcohol to have fun.  In real life, I don't think he drinks to be honest.  But I offered him a Bud light, my fave of course and then said there is also Coors Light and some others.  So, I opened a can of soda, poured it into a glass over ice and since we were ya know, sweet on each other, I took some sips.  He looked at me like I was insane.  And then I remembered he is a germophobic.  I apologized and made him a fresh glass.

I came around the bar, he was facing towards it, and I snuggled and hugged his back, like I do Bryan's.  I call that flirting but with contact!  LOL Any who, then he kissed me.  Now I am not a facial hair person but wasn't bothered with that.  Then he puts his tongue in my mouth, it was like a bad handshake.  It just lay there like a dead slug.  I told Bryan about it the next morning, he thought it was hilarious and now when they come on, he is like there's your boy!!    I had to tell him though, it is more of a crush - I tried ya know, the other night - and he wasn't doing it.  Maybe if I ever meet him in person, I dunno, but goals!!!

Ok, after posting this photo - I have second thoughts lolol!  RRaaaooorrr!!!!

PS.  I may or may not have emailed for a signed picture autograph.  😉 

Claire's New Baby Blanket - Coming Soon!

 Do you blog?  Or maybe you journal?  Either way, do you ever have those days where you have sooo much to say, and then others you are just not "feeling it"?  That is totally me.  Today I feel like I have a lot to chat about.  Sorry, not sorry?  LOL.

Claire's Baby Blanket ~  For baby Grayson, I am having a special blanket made for him & Momma.  I asked her if she wanted me to bring her "B" to her, which is her baby blanket she said no which made me sad.  She said - you can keep it.  But then I had a great idea!  Take her blanket, Bryan's, and this blanket I have with Disney characters on it and have a good friend of mine merge them somehow.  I have not told Claire the plan, other than I have Ms. Cindy (Claire knows her too) making Grayson a special blanket.  It took me a few days to work up the courage to ask Bryan because it is HIS baby blanket (it's more like a sheet to be honest) but I get it.  I no longer have mine due to my ex-husband.

Funny thing is Claire mentions to me how she asked Kevin about his baby blanket; it is a Spiderman one, and if he was going to give to Grayson.  She said he looked at he like she was insane and then said, he is gonna have to earn that!!  You bet your bottom dollar I made sure to tell Bryan that to "buffer" the situation.  He was down for it though.  I can't wait to show you guys!!!!!

Coupon Princess 👸

 Now, most people say coupon queen, however when I hear the word Queen, I think of old ladies.  That ain't me.  So, behold, The Couponing Princess Petunia Pink!!  ♥ ❇ 

I almost forgot!  While I was couponing at DG, I went to grab the Gain and tell me why this person's fake nail popped out on me, hit me in the shirt, and fell on the ground.  WTH!?!?

XOXO ~ Nicole

Nom Nom Nom

  Chicken Feet, Chicken Paws 🐾  ~  I don't know if I posted about this yet but to help with the groceries, a dear friend of ours takes us and treats us once a month to groceries.  Last time we were there, I saw chicken feet.  We all know we have seen them.  I myself can't bring myself to try them, but to each their own.  Some people thing crawfish are disgusting, but I am over here shouting "Team Head"!! 

 I happened to glance over at them again since we are getting more familiar with the store and see the chicken feet.  But y'all, they done renamed them to Chicken Paws because come on, who doesn't want to take a bite of a paw instead of a foot!?!

She Gets Me.....

 I don't have a lot of friends.  I have always been the type that had one bestie, and I was good with that.  Still am.  Christine is a new friend I made a while ago that lives on our street down in the Cul de sac.  Which is totally awesome because we can literally walk to each other's house and don't have to worry about drinking and driving.  Plus, she has a baby, so I get to play when I go over there with her.  She is ADORABLE!

Any who, if you do not have a friend like this, get one.  Example below.

Witch, Witch, You're a Witch....

 Today I had a friend reach back out to me after asking if she would promote my blog on her YouTube Channel.  She loved the blog but decided that my business card was against her religion.  And that is fine, to each their own however I believe in God, but I also believe in tarot cards, crystals, Ouija boards, and making wishes @ 11:11.  That is just who I am.

It's funny because my Mother is the one who originally turned me onto the tarot cards.  I remember one night that she went into the closet and brought out this pretty velvety bag.  It had these cards in them that were very interesting to me.  I couldn't have been older than 9 maybe 10.  I do not remember anything about the actual reading, but I did feel bonded with my Mom which was hard then.  If you didn't have a penis and $$, she didn't seem to have the time.  Everything else just fell into place over the years as far as Ouija, etc.

I am super excited to learn myself how to read tarot cards.  I have a teacher, but we will just keep her in my back pocket.  And if you have read my blog, hell no is it my Mother.  But all of that will come in time.
PS.  Please tell me you know what movie this title came from.

PSS.  Currently watching Weapons!

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On behalf of dearly departed Dolly, Bryan made her "Cuppa Cuppa Cuppa" Cake - famously known from Steel Magnolias.  I tried to post the link, but I am still electronically challenged it seems.  Not that I thought I wasn't.  LOL.

Bryan's Cuppa Cuppa Cuppa Cake:

~~~>>>   Dolly's Recipe

Bacon, Mormons, & Other Emergencies

 Today was food pantry day!  If you recall, after I lost my job and unemployment ran out, well, even before the unemployment ran out, we started to have to go to the food pantry.  To say it was humbling is putting it lightly.  I felt like a failure.  I couldn't take care of my own family financially.  We were approved to come once a month and were able to receive help for the electric bill.

I don't mind going now, in fact, I feel blessed that we have it.  We all know how expensive everything is now, even groceries!!!  I have made "friends" that work there and I look forward to seeing them.  Today was no different, but I was surprised to see so few people in there.  When I walked in, there was this awful noise going on.  Of course, our luck, they were testing the fire alarms.  We checked in, took our seats, and I noticed this young girl that was volunteering wheel out a cart full of stuff.   

The first thing I noticed was the sign taped to it that read "Please only take 3 per person".  Before she even finished, this lady gets up and grabs a container of detergent for laundry and then sits back down.  The worker goes back to setting it all up and then goes back thru the employees only door.  The sign is clearly visible.  I hadn't moved, but then one of my "friends" that work there, told me to head on over.  I grabbed 3 items, and still that one lady from earlier was grabbing things.  I am talking she must have went to her car at least 4 times!!  There were a few other greedy folks up in there but then come this older couple.  The wife alone took like 10 toothbrushes!!!

As you can tell, I was so irritated.  I felt like the "Pantry Police 🚨.  Bryan of course could care less.  Like I mentioned, we have been going a long time now, so I recognize most of the volunteers.  I saw these two young gentlemen with name badges on their shirts.  I go back to wishing I had a whistle for these scavengers at that cart, when Bryan's phone rings.  I don't know why, but he answers it on speaker phone.  I hear Claire's voice.

"Dad, I need your help"

"Ok hang on honey, I'm"

"No Dad, it's an emergency!"

"Ok we are the food pantry, give me a minute to get outside!"

Bryan comes back inside and sits down next to me.  I am all is everything ok???  He starts to tell me, and I am all, that's an emergency??  He said to her it was.  lol Ya'll, she called because she made bacon and then made the eggs in the grease and her man freaked out saying it was "raw".  Pregnant ladies have their priorities, I guess.  Next, here come the young fellas with those badges on.  They introduce themselves, I am trying to read the badge, and then I hear him refer to himself as Elder Such & Such.  And they were young!!  They took forever but our groceries were amazing choices!!  We left and our driving home and I asked Bryan, are those the Mormons?  He said that it said LDS.  Ok, so like Mormons right?  Like the ones with multiple wives and do free work at your home?  Don't judge, I saw it on a tv show once.  He said yup!  I said dammit, we missed out!!!

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Today I got a late start since we had the food pantry but right now, watching The Other Sister.  If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it.  <3

Loving The "Dark" Side

 I keep forgetting to post this!!

Ok, if you do not already know from most of my pins etc. where I advertise my blog, I am all into Horoscopes, Crystals, Sage, Tarot Cars (learning how to do that soon!!!!), Wicca, and so on.  Yes, I believe In God, but I also believe - If you truly believe in something unless you're trying to go all Manson or 50 child brides on me, there is nothing wrong with it.

I posted a long time ago how Bryan and I met.  How he was my waiter, yes, and he did go with me and the bestie to the hot tub that night.  And then we started dating but I never saw that man at night because he was into drinking, drugs, his friends and was used to being Single as a Pringle.  

During our courtship, my BFF and I happened upon a Wiccan store.  You bet your bottom dollar I bought me a book.   And yes, Bryan knows all about it.  My BFF and I happened across a "spell" to set an extra plate at the table that evening when we went to eat at the restaurant Bryan worked at.  Had to put food and everything on it.  We looked nuts I am sure, but I still love the fact that her and I both believe it worked.  We may have ended up splitting up for quite some time, but he has told me he never dated or had sex with anyone else.  He loves me!!!  He is one of those kinds of guys that didn't sleep around, just had real relationships which I think is SOOO damn cute.

Random Goodies

 Please tell me why men get such a bad attitude when it comes to things that frustrate them.  Hang in there with me.

I work from home, so Claire's room was turned into my home office.  I love it.  I can sit and look around the room, which is still purple from her choice, and reminisce with her pictures and decorations.  Bryan has done very well with getting it set up with everything I need to work, and there is a TV so I can put old movies on I have seen a million times.  Currently I have The First Wives Club on.  Great "chick-flick" as my husband says.  It kills him because I have movies on allll day but then when I go to the living room ask him if he would like to watch a movie.  He is all really???  But I like movies and I am referring to new ones that I haven't seen.  The office is right next to the garage, and it gets hot as hell up in here so fan must be on!  I turned the light on and one of the bulbs went out.  I begrudgingly went to go tell the "maintenance man" AKA Bryan.  Sometimes, if it is something he is CHOOSING to do, he is a happy little worker.  Otherwise, I usually get the "damn y'all are hard on shit" comment.

So, he goes and gets the step ladder, removes the dish thingy that protects the bulbs, screws, blah blah.  Then he starts struggling to put it all back together.  Here come the curse words.  I offered my help to which he refused and then it was my fault that I wasn't helping.  We finally got it all back together and Momma can see again.  As for the maintenance man, I told his ass I was going to report him to HR.  ;)

***Update, I have to yank the damn chain to get it to even move to a different speed.  Thank God it finally went to high and that bitch just going to stay there.

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While I have you guys, I got a question.  I love couponing and am really good at it.  Let's just say we will not be running out of soap, deodorant, body wash, paper towels, or toilet paper for quite a bit.  I don't care who you are, not worrying about running out of toilet paper is a great feeling.  Before money was an issue, we always purchased the same brand.  But couponing, you get the deals!!    We have had Walmart brand, Kroger, Walgreens, you get the picture.  Then there are the more expensive brands, right?  I do not have any complaints about any except Cottonelle.  It is soft to the touch, has those cute ripples, even my aunt only uses them.  So, tell me why every time we get it, forgive me if I am wrong, but aren't those ripples supposed to keep you "clean"?  What am I missing here?  Because it never fails, when I use it after going #2, there are some serious pieces left behind.  Yesterday, what looked like a tiny roll of wadded up toilet paper, just fell out my butt!!!  What am I doing wrong?

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I know these are kind of random posts so bear with me.  Movie wise we are now on the Flashdance.  If you are a lady, shame on you if you haven't seen it and are old enough.  LOL

Can you believe Dolly Parton died?  Well, I mean kind of since she was 80 but I just saw Tim Curry died as well!!  I think I am more upset about that one.  I love The Rocky Horror Picture show - my dad blessed me with that shiny nugget when I was just a kid.  I remember him telling me how they used to get dressed up, go to the movies, and they would bring props etc.  How cool is that?  Now with my anxiety, I don't even go to the movies but still.  What awesome memories!!!

PS.  I know I STILL owe you guys some part twos.  They will come, I promise.  Oh, like if you build it, they will come.  <3

PSS. On to Indecent Proposal!! PSS.S... 😂 I sounds like a snnaakkkeee, a slithery slithery snake 🐍.

Watching Indecent Proposal as an adult and with money issues!!  I would do it.  I will ask Bryan his opinion when he wakes from his nap.  What say you?  And come one, Robert Reford looks old in the movie but handsome!  Oh, and a waterbed to boot!!!

Bryan said only if I wanted to.  -_-

XOXO ~ Nicole

And Today in New Pregnancy Things..🌟

 I am sure there will be more, but I am loving the new texts from Claire while pregnant.  

Not Thriving, Not Dying......Just Vibing

I hope everyone is having a "Tubular" Tuesday!!  If you do not know that term, you're not old enough.  LOL.

I know I owe you guys some part two posts, and I will get there.  Just been a bit frazzled.  I am not sure that is quite the word I am looking for, but after everything with my sister's phone call, I just cried.  A BIG ass crying baby!!!  I went to visit a friend last night and it looked like I was exhausted and beat up from all the puffiness.  And I felt worse because as soon as I walked in her front door, I word vomited all over her.  But sometimes, that is what you need.  Especially because Bryan gets upset when I cry.  He means well, but I can't help but cry sometimes when I get overwhelmed, sick, or my heart has been broken somehow.  That bitch got a LOT of duct tape on it.  After speaking with my aunt and then my dad, I feel much better about it.  My sister is too much like my mom.  And words hurt.  Also, I think her heart be like the Grinch at times.  But like I mentioned prior, we were all raised differently.  I wear my heart on my sleeve unfortunately.

And I am still currently "unemployed".  As I mentioned selling life insurance is hard work.  So, family members have been helping us with money for bills, we go to the food pantry, my dad is going to restock our deer meat when he comes on the 4th, and my old boss takes us once a month to Costco.  It is funny, as a kid I hated meat and would rather die, even in my 30's before I would eat deer.  Look at me now!! lol Honestly, I love using it instead of ground beef, less fattening.  I guess what I am trying to say is we are definitely having a hard time right now.  But we have a roof over our head, utilities, my car is now paid off!!!!, and we have each other.  Until next time.....

XOXO ~ Nicole

 

Just a funny for the day....

 

Scars Tell a Story

 Last night I had a conversation with my sister.  I am the oldest and she is the youngest.  Then there is my brother in the middle.  She is in the military and works out there in the La Porte TX area making good money with the oil & gas or something like that.  All I know is when I was a kid, my dad was a mill writer and when I told the other kids that, they were all like a what?  Same here kids.  At that age all I could say was when he comes home, his work outfit stands up on its own, smells, and my mom has to wash it separately.  As I got older, all I know is he said I keep the lights on baby.  So, I assume my sister does the same thing.

I started off via text, because that is all she does.  Talk to text or text.  I usually don't care but what started off as an innocent conversation got muddy.  I can't blame her.  A lot of shit happened in our family when we were children that shouldn't have happened.  I spent many years doing the same thing.  I would drink, get drunk, and reminisce which always led to me crying.   She brought up old memories, ones I had buried pretty successfully, opened new ones, it took a lot, but I did not cry and I did not go to bed with it heavy on my mind.  Scars are scars, they tell a story.  But I do not want to open new cuts, new sores, new things to fester about.  We all three were raised very differently, when we were younger, we were "brother and sister" but after some time, still as children, we were in different homes.  Experiencing different things.  Being taught different things. At some point we all had awful things done to us.

We all struggle in some way or another, but as I was saying, I have worked very hard to get past all of that.  Gonna have to do a part two folks - I have cried twice now.  Ugh.  Not so much the subject although I felt bad talking to my aunt about it.  And then Claire shocked me with a text that caught me off guard.  Everything is fine with her, the baby, etc. - So To B continued...........  😢 

XOXO ~ Nicole

We Have a Name!!

 I know I mentioned when I started blogging again how Claire is now pregnant.  They finally made a choice for the name!!!!  Grayson Hayes!!!!!!!!!!!!  I love it so much and can't wait to meet him!!!

XOXO ~ Nicole

You Don't Have to Go Home But.....

 Oh, my goodness, I almost forgot to tell you guys.  Remember when I posted the other day about the kitties being disgruntled, I thought with their rude customer service "post"?

So, Bryan makes sure there is always food and water in the front and back.  Don't think he started doing this.  I did!  LOL And he complained and complained and now look at him.  We have a routine, and as it starts to get dark, he calls our cat inside (Lucille) if she happens to be out there.  She is one we got TNR'd and never left.  Currently we have Billy Jean who I feel won't be far along because he adores ME!!!  All the cats, we call Bryan the cat whisperer, gravitate to him.  But Billy Jean, he loves ME!!  lol

Bryan goes outside, calls Lucille if she is out, then hollers last call y'all, like at a bar!!!!!!!!!!!!  And they all come running to eat knowing he is about to put it up for the night.  Not the water obs.  Otherwise, them possums make themselves quite at a home.  That's a face there that only a mother can love.

🙀 🙀 🙀 ~ Nicole

What You Don't See Behind the Smile

 I know I haven't spoken much yet about the mental health issues in our family.  When I say family, I mean our little family of four.  If you have read my blog, you know my Mother is bat-shot crazy, and there are some others in the branches as well.  I wrote this, I guess you would say essay at the last career I had.  I had chosen to leave my last career because the atmosphere had changed with the new "owners".  But I will say before then, we were very family oriented and they were aware and accepted my issues.  I went to a new place to work that was supposed to be my "Happily Ever After", but it turned out to be far from it.  I'm not ready to get into that yet but while I was there, I realized how ignorant some people could be towards mental health issues.  I became angry inside feeling like it was supposed to be ignored, not talked about, not understood.    So, I ended up bringing the subject to people who I knew cared about me there.  I was so happy and nervous because we had a whole "Meeting" about it with cute cupcakes with umbrellas, themed colors, and I read this in front of everyone.  It was a shame some people that really needed to hear it, weren't' there, but God has a plan.

XOXO ~

Nicole

Back To the Future, Kinda...

****Originally started in July 2024****

*So, what did you do over the weekend?  I went to the Jay Z and Beyoncé concert Friday night with my favorite girl.  We were both so excited but her more than me for sure.*

I had won these on the radio.  If you see some of my older post, I rocked at it because I got to work so early, no one else was there, and not too many calling the "hot line" either, so I was a "regular!".  Lol

Actually, one time I won, the first time actually, when I was working and I was so nervous 104KRBE got mad at me because I kept messing up the "line".  The disappointment was deep in that lady's voice for sure.  Lol But coming in super early gave me the ability to walk around, if need be, I am a pacer and be myself.  So many times, they would say you have a great voice for the phone/radio, but homegirl never heard any job opportunities.

I won what I thought was Beyonce tickets, but Claire was tickled pink Jay Z was going to be there as well.  You must know at suck at directions and struggle with getting out of my 5-mile radius.  Going downtown is one of my biggest fears.  My dad used to tell me when I first started driving if you sat too long at a redlight, you would be "up on blocks".  At that time, I had no clue what a homeless person, beggar, etc. was.  He also knew I sucked at directions.  I easily got confused and tended to get lost and then cry.  I once ended up I think it was Beaumont before I pulled over and used a PAY-PHONE to call my dad.  He lived in La Porte y'all.    Wait till I tell you about the time I took Claire to see the play Wicked, Lady GAGA in concert, I am sure some other trips will come to memory as well.  Those kinds of tips always turned into some sort of experience for sure!  😂

We make it down there.  If you are from Houston, I treated us to The Original Ninfa's, and we lucked out because since we ate there, they let us park there for free and walk over to the concert.  This first thing we noticed was how small, quaint, etc. it was because I had done my research about it from other blogs then.  The next thing we noticed, no prices on the menu.  -wah-wah-wah-wahhh-  I think we all know what that means.  Now, the food and experience, amazing but that was the most expensive 2 tamales I think we ever ordered!!!!  And that was just Claire's lol.  Then it is time to walk over to the venue for Beyoncé......

Part two coming soon - In the meantime, any questions?  Anyone new to blog and want to say Hola!  I am here!!  

XOXO ~ Nicole

Rude Customers

So, we feed the stray kitties in our neighborhood.  We do our best to get them TNR'd and help other neighbors do so as well.  The other night Bryan when into the back yard and comes back in with this cardboard sign.  He sat it on the stove top before he put into the recycling bin.  I happen to be walking by to get me another Bud lite (hell yeah, I still love my Bud lite!!) and saw it.

I read it, I read it again.  I looked at him and said, "the kitties are leaving us notes now???"

Massage or As My Daughter Used to Say, "Smadge".

Ohhhhhh, I must tell you guys about my massage experiences.  As a child, then adult - I must say the adult ones got a lot better until they didn't.

As a child, my first experience with a massage was with my Mother.  I tend to call her Mom or Mother, but always a capitol M because - well, if you have read my blog or are currently new, she is not a nice person.  As a matter of fact, I haven't had any contact with her in 10+ years, and although it was extremely difficult to make that decision, it was a SMART one!!  And if you or someone you know has a relationship like I did with a parent, sometimes people are just too toxic to have any connection to.  You cut your losses, even if it is a parent, and you are a better person because of it

She took me to one of those "fat" spas with her.  I was 20 by then, but weighed maybe 89 lbs.  I was a super picky eater back in the day.  For dinner I remember they had these tiny portions on the plate, and nothing I really even wanted to eat except for maybe a sprig or two that looked like lettuce.  I asked her to take me to McDonalds; I always got the same thing - Happy Meal Cheeseburger plain with Hi-C orange.  Always.  Imgain Bryan's excitement when we first started dating and he took me to a place called The Macaroni Grill.  I liked you could color on the "tablecloths".  As you can probably tell, I was a very naive 20-year-old when Bryan met me.  I even had a Little Mermaid comforter set - I called it the "Mermaid test" and Bryan passed!!  My aunt did a good job protecting me when I went to live with her at age 11.  At that age all the way until 14 or 15, I was still going outside to ride bikes and play with the younger kids on my street.  Imagine my horror when I got my period and had to wear a pad trying to ride a bike.  It felt like my vagina was going numb.  And when I started having to wear a bra!!  No longer was I able to play football and X-Men etc. without a bra on.  I am rambling......

Any who, Bryan ordered calamari as an appetizer.  I tried one because he said he was "trying to broaden my horizons" and that sounded thoughtful lol.  I told him it tasted like a rubber band and I said no mas.  For my dinner, I ordered a grilled cheese.  Back to the resort, went to bed hungry that night but wasn't nothing new to me.  I remember we had two separate beds, and she watched a bunch of movies.  Pedicure time came, my Mom knew I had athlete's foot on I think my left foot.  I was so embarrassed of it - the first time Bryan and I showered together; I wore my socks!!!  Thank God I was hot right!?!?  LOL So it is pedicure time, we are sitting next to each other, and I mention to my lady that I couldn't imagine having to work on people's feet all day.  My mom laughs or maybe hoots more like it meanly, says the girl with something wrong with her foot.  Then comes time for spa time and massage time.  My Mother tells me that I need to take all of my clothes, ALLLLLL, and put on the robe.  We go to the spa/hot tub, Some folks no robe, no nothing.  I just sat on the side with my feet in the hot tub clutching my robe for dear life.  Massage time!  You guessed it, robe off.  Naked.  I wanted to die.  I think I blocked everything else out other than we left early Thank You Baby Jesus!!!!

After that, as an adult I was terrified of getting a massage.  Tried to get one with Claire when we went to Disney as a family.  Just my luck, I had shaved prior to going and after one day, it looked like I had gonorrhea from my ankles to right below my knees.  They refused to work or even touch my legs; they put a towel over them lol.  I didn't want Claire to feel like I did, so I told her she did not have to take all of her clothes off if she didn't want to.  Of course, my girl was like have at it lady!!!!!!!!!  Lol.

Part 2 - Tomorrow......

Boys & Girls

 Ok, like I was saying.  If you used to read my old posts and maybe you are just reading now....  I was very lady-like, I never ever "tooted" around men.  Ever!!!  And for the longest time, when I lived with some boyfriends, we never used the restroom for # 2 when one of us was home!!!   Ever.  My first boyfriend/fiancé, I lived with him and his family for at least a year or more.  I surely didn't hold it in that long - but I don't remember ever pooping when he was home.  

One of my boyfriends and I moved in together later on in life.  I would literally go to the grocery store by our house if he was home and I had to poop.  But that I blame on a previous boyfriend.  I told him I was going to take a shower, which I was but I locked the door because I also had to poop.  I had just gotten into the shower when I hear him say "Don't ever tell me you shit don't stink" and died laughing.  I was mortified.  He had picked the lock and was very proud of himself.

Bryan never farted around me, and when he did, I got mad.  Why?  Because girls don't fart!  LOL That's what I like to say.  We have settled into an old married couple now.  I still do not want to talk about your bowel movements, nasty.  But, usually when he does fart he will let me know prior.  And you would be proud of me.  I also do it around him when I can't hold it, and I will say I have to toot.  He says toot away!  And if it is loud, he will say that isn't a toot, that's a fart.  Men!!!!

I Missed This!

 Good morning, World!!

I hope everyone is having a Terrific Tuesday!  I miss blogging, I really do.  I just didn't have the time to stick with it then.  I used to work A LOT - But Momma brought home the bacon.  Especially after Bryan became physically disabled and had a heart attack! I lost my job last September, what a mess that was.  I won't go into it now but will eventually.  I got unemployment for a bit, did DoorDash, family helped, friends helped - I ended up getting my life insurance license.  Now I left college for a reason, I do not like studying.  I am a horrible test taker.  It took me 3 times, but I did it finally!  The company I signed up with seemed perfect.  It was all via Zoom, "you make your own hours" but no - they tried to kill me as far as I am concerned.  Working Mon-Sun from 8 am, sometimes getting a 3-hour lunch break but rarely, and then from 3 pm until whenever they felt like you were done.  Some nights I would get maybe 3-4 hours of sleep, and I am one of those people that need 9 plus or I get sick.  Just like I did.  During that time, I had another company, Primerica/Next Level Group reach out to me asking if I would be interested in working for them.  I didn't give it too much thought because I was miserable, tired, sick, and I had tried to talk to 3 different managers, and it was clear to me they either had no clue what their trainers were doing or chose to ignore my concerns.  Mine was hell-bent on changing me.  Yet, all the others I had trained with said how amazing I was.  She even wanted me to change my pitch in my voice by speaking through my stomach or some crap.  Guys, I literally won awards for my customer service "voice".  I am also a "people person" or can be lol, so I like to make relationships with my coworkers.  My trainer said that no one cares what you had for breakfast Nicole.  Excuse me for being friendly.  I am working with these folks for 10 plus hours a day, I would like to get to know them!!  And to make matters worse, she was a health guru so would often make comments about my vaping, this, or that.  Last I checked, I didn't sign up for a health coach.  

With the new company, it has been going well.  I DO get to choose my own schedule, work from home except for Saturdays we go in at 9 am.  And let me tell you, that is tuff sometimes.  I work 11 am to 4 pm or later if I choose to or need to for an appointment.  I ADORE waking up around 9:30-10 am and start my day after working at companies for so long where I got up at 4 am or 6 am.  You guys, I am gonna tell you a secret tho.  Selling Insurance is HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, after 3 months I started getting people on board or buying a policy - now a platform I use refuses to "verify" me as a business which sux.  I do love doing this, but maybe it should be part-time instead of full.  Honestly, I don't have any other options at the moment so God, I am here - and I am listening.

PS.  Don't forget to comment, follow, etc.  I still have plenty of Mommy Times - But now we are moving into GIGI status, Perimenopause (is this happening or not, and WTF is the deal with the black hairs and some so white I can't see them but they hurt like hell to pull them!?!??!), Exploring more into Tarot Cards, and still the same ole' family humor.

Speaking of that, If you have read some of my ooolllldddd posts - Oh wait - let me just make a new post!!  Lol.

XOXO ~ Nicole

 As the world turns........

I'm just kidding but it sounded funny.  I started this blog in 2007 - Claire and Taylor are now 26 and 24.  Claire lives in Kansas much to my dismay with her finance Kevin.  She is currently pregnant with our first Grandbaby!!!!  And it is a BOY!!!  We are super excited, wish she lived here, but I will be driving there in December when the baby is due.  I am excited and terrified all at the same time.  I will be driving on my own, in December to Kansas City KS!  Why you ask?

Well, Taylor developed mental health issues in his later teen years.  He will live with us for the rest of his life.  We can get into that another time.  Bryan of course will have to stay home with him which is fine.  I just have to remember that I am one bad-ass bitch and used to drive to Houston to ATL or the other way around all the time.  Also, College Station to San Antonio and Galveston.  Yes, I was a lot younger then, but I refuse to fly.  For one, I suffer from BAD anxiety and haven't been on a plane since 2018 and that was only by "force" lol!!!!  I also take Zoloft and the idea of not being able to "get off the plane" terrifies me so - CAR it is!!  It says 11 hours and, in my mind, that doesn't sound bad at all.  Now, don't go sounding like the hubby Bryan - No!  Are you crazy?  Etc??  Also, have you guys seen the prices for flights??  And she is due in December!!

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I think that will do it for today!  I know I have readers out there so don't be shy!  Say hello!  Ask me questions.  I'm an "open book" as they say.  ;)

Sunday night I made the chicken cacciatore recipe.  Can I just say hands down this is my favorite thing I have ever made.  I had to do a lot of new things I was not familiar with like browning the chicken in extra virgin olive in a screaming hot pan.  I only got popped by it once right above my eye, I whimpered and thought F this but I kept at it.  Simmering the sauce with wine was another new trick.  It's a good thing I don't drink wine or we would have had to skip that step cause Momma would have helped herself.  Glug glug.

As I am finishing the chicken nestled in the sauce (with red bell peppers, onion, and mushrooms) in the oven, I realize that is all I have made.  No sides.  Is chicken cacciatore supposed to be served with something in particular?  So I pop on trusty Google and it suggested you serve it over a pasta like fettuccine or angel hair.  Perfect!  I had some in the pantry but as I was grabbing it Claire came into the kitchen and when I explained to her what the pasta was for, she asked if we could have white rice instead.  I'm all but Google said.....  But then she made a good point how all of the sauce would be soaking into the white rice and I thought you know, that might a be a good idea after all! 

*****This is not recent, but wanted to post it because it seemed like a hidden gem.***