Friday, March 20, 2009

My Crazy Sister

My sister is always dieting so I had to share this little conversation because she friggin cracks me up!

Lyndsey : i took this shit to clean out my collan and needless to say the shit backed me

Lyndsey : up

Lyndsey : i had the worst night of my life last night.

Nicole : Yikes

Lyndsey : instead of pooping i was in pain all night long

Nicole : is there a reason why u were doing a colon cleanser?

Lyndsey : i had to take two ex-lax to help this process along, and now i'm suffering the conisquences

Nicole : Dude - that sux

Lyndsey : nah...someone said you hold 10 pounds of poo in your collan, so i decided to lose 10 pounds

Lyndsey : shit didn't work

Nicole : lol

Nicole : I thought u were past all of that silly girl. One of my fav memories is still u needing to go at the dang Kmart

Nicole : ur not fat anyways

Lyndsey : lol!!! i am passed that, but still....i thought it was would be quick and painless

Lyndsey : i was a pro at the whole ex-lax thing, but this shit is horrible and doesn't work

Lyndsey : never again will i take herbal laxitives

Nicole : lol

Nicole : good grief

Thursday, March 5, 2009

OB Makes Earplugs Too.

This morning Claire was rifling through our bathroom drawer, one of her new favorite hobbies that drive me insane.

She holds up a box of OB tampons that someone had given me and I had never used because they freak me out. But, I saved them just in case of an emergency.

"What are these Momma?"

Now Claire is only 8 and a very young 8 at that, so I have not had the discussion with her about periods, the facts of life, nada. And I wasn't about to then either. Luckily I was brushing my teeth when she asked the question so I had a few minutes to try to think of an answer but before I could even spit, she replied.

"Oh I KNOW, they're giant earplugs!!!"

Yup. Now move along please.