My Crazy Sister

My sister is always dieting so I had to share this little conversation because she friggin cracks me up!


Lyndsey : i took this shit to clean out my collan and needless to say the shit backed me

Lyndsey : up

Lyndsey : i had the worst night of my life last night.

Nicole : Yikes

Lyndsey : instead of pooping i was in pain all night long

Nicole : is there a reason why u were doing a colon cleanser?

Lyndsey : i had to take two ex-lax to help this process along, and now i'm suffering the conisquences

Nicole : Dude - that sux

Lyndsey : nah...someone said you hold 10 pounds of poo in your collan, so i decided to lose 10 pounds

Lyndsey : shit didn't work

Nicole : lol

Nicole : I thought u were past all of that silly girl. One of my fav memories is still u needing to go at the dang Kmart

Nicole : ur not fat anyways

Lyndsey : lol!!! i am passed that, but still....i thought it was would be quick and painless

Lyndsey : i was a pro at the whole ex-lax thing, but this shit is horrible and doesn't work

Lyndsey : never again will i take herbal laxitives

Nicole : lol

Nicole : good grief

OB Makes Earplugs Too.

This morning Claire was rifling through our bathroom drawer, one of her new favorite hobbies that drive me insane.

She holds up a box of OB tampons that someone had given me and I had never used because they freak me out. But, I saved them just in case of an emergency.

"What are these Momma?"

Now Claire is only 8 and a very young 8 at that, so I have not had the discussion with her about periods, the facts of life, nada. And I wasn't about to then either. Luckily I was brushing my teeth when she asked the question so I had a few minutes to try to think of an answer but before I could even spit, she replied.

"Oh I KNOW, they're giant earplugs!!!"

Yup. Now move along please.