Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Monday, October 29, 2007

A Cookie Cutter Life

Sometimes, no more than just sometimes, a lot of the times I wish my family was more "normal". And when I say my family, I mean my mother. My mother has lived in GA since I was about 7, and it is better this way for me and the rest of my family. The best thing to compare her to is a ticking time bomb, you just never know when the shit is going to hit the fan.

She is a pretty pleasant person to be around, until she starts drinking. After one too many, she becomes an argumentative, mean, hurtful, and quite scary lady. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother very much but I can only handle her in small doses and not when she is drinking.

After I became a parent I promised to myself and to my babies that I would never treat them the way my mother treated me as a child, and I would never allow her to have the ability to "injure" my children in any way.

For the most part it hasn't even been an issue, what with her living many states away. And when we did go to GA to visit, we made our stays quick. Every time I have tried to let my guard down and try to have her in my life as my Mom and the kids Grandmother, I have been sadly reminded why she is not.

When Claire was an infant and I still lived in GA, my mother once threatened me with CPS because I refused to put these homemade ear drops in Claire's ear when she had an infection. I had already taken her to the pediatrician and got her antibiotics but that wasn't enough for my mother. The entire time I lived in GA she was constantly holding the threat of taking my daughter away over my head, and I didn't know any better that she couldn't ~ because I was a good mom.

A few years ago my Mom came in for Christmas to celebrate with the family, everyone lives here in Texas and we used to invite her to come and visit but she has pretty much burned her bridges with everyone. That year we were all at my aunt's house and at the time I was living there with my two little ones, this was shortly after I had left my husband and was trying to get back onto my feet. The big agreement was that my mom was not to spend the night at my Aunt's house because no one wanted to deal with her drinking and my Aunt had went out of town earlier.

I felt sorry for my Mom and told her she could stay only to be attacked later after she had drank a bottle of wine. To make matters worse my children were there to witness the whole thing. Now here we are a few years down the road and my mother is living in TX for the time being. She has been asking for my children to come and stay with her for a weekend. What kills me is even when I was actually thinking about maybe giving it a try, I then hear from my aunt how she is talking shit about my parenting skills again. So then I think what happens if while she is drinking and has my children she decides she could do better or some crap and steals them. It is just a thought but not something I wouldn't put past her. My mother doesn't seem to think the same way others do.

And then I think what if something should happen, like her hit one of my kids or say something so hurtful they never forget (shit she did to me many many times as a child) ~ why even give her the chance to "injure" my babies some way. How I wish things could be easier and I could gladly let her take the kids for the weekend. Oh, how I wish......

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Friday, October 19, 2007

I Am God!

Last weekend my mother called, yes my mother, to see if I would watch my great grandmother for a few hours while she did some shopping. My mother has actually come to Texas to help in the care of Mamo who is in her 90's and suffers from dementia and Alzheimer's. My great Uncle lives with her out in Hempstead but he is not in the greatest health himself, plus he likes to be able to go and visit his kids in Austin on the weekends so he and my Mom have worked out a deal for her to stay with them and help.

Mamo is slow moving and gets tired easy so shopping trips are a bit of a pain so my mom has started asking others to keep here while she does her errands. When she brought her to me last Sunday the kids asked if they could go with her. My mom said yes and I snickered to myself as they were pulling out of the driveway, knowing she would soon realize she would have had better luck with Mamo.

After about two hours they returned, and both of my little ones had bags of goodies to show off that Grandmother had bought them. Claire had gotten a bunch of little animals that living in baby bottle like homes and smell like different flavors when you sniff their butts. Odd, yes I know ~ but she adores them. Taylor got a bunch of different little things but he was most proud of his snow globe. Mom had taken them to Target and to a store we have in Houston called Tuesday Mornings. My mother would move in and live at Tuesday Mornings if she could. Turns out, they have all of their Christmas Decorations out already and Taylor fell in love with a Biblical Scene inside a snow globe, so my mother bought it for him. It is really quite pretty, covered in gold glitter that comes off every time you touch the damn thing, and has a music box.

On the way to the car my Mom and Taylor had this conversation:

Taylor: Look Grandmother, my globe has God on it. You know how I know? Because of all of the gold, and God is gold too.

Grandmother: Oh okay, well I think the globe is beautiful and if you think God is gold too, well that is just perfect!

After they got in the car Taylor sat the globe next to him and noticed all of the gold glitter that was now all over his hands.

Taylor: Look Grandmother, now I am God!

My mother just cracked up laughing and tells anyone who will stand still long enough this story.


Last night the kids and I went on another little journey to pick up some stuff I had gotten from FreeCycle. Yes people I drive 20 minutes in 5 o'clock traffic to pick up a pair of flip flops, boxers, and a picture frame. *Standing up* "Hello, my name is Nicole and I am a Freecycle Addict". Anyway, we were driving through an older part of Houston that had these huge trees full of moss. Because we kinda sorta live in the city, my children have really never seen such things.

Claire: Mommy, what are those things called again hanging from the trees?

Me: Moss

Claire: Moths? You mean like the things that look like butterflies?

Me: No, moss ~ Mmmmmooooosssssss * I was trying to emphasise the M*

Claire: Oh, well do bugs live in them?

Me: Yes, they're called chiggers.

Claire: Niggars??

Me: I said chiggers!! Are you going deaf at 7?? Good grief.

I let the other word go because they honestly do not know what that word means, when Claire was younger she used to call them brown people. It just goes to show you just never know what is going to come out of their mouths.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Don't Blink - Before You Know It You'll Miss It

You may have been wondering where I have been lately, or maybe not ~ either way I will tell you. First, I got sucked into the world of FreeCycle. If you have never heard of this stay the hell away because the next thing you know, you're giving everything in your home and collecting more things from others to occupy the previous stuffs spots. No I'm kidding, kinda sorta. This group is all about recycling, it reminds me of the whole "pay it forward" scenario mixed in with a little bit of garage saling. The whole point behind it is instead of just throwing something away and filling up our landfills, why not post it on Free Cycle to see if someone else may be able to use it. What a nifty idea right?

We still had the old washer and dryer combo from when we moved into our new home and the inlaws gave us brand spankin new ones, so I put it on FreeCycle. I was overwhelmed with the emails full of stories that brought tears to my eyes. I ended up just having to pick a name because between the single mommas and the other nice folks that wanted this, it was hard to choose. After that, I was hooked. It was almost like a high giving away stuff we either didn't use anymore and the kids had outgrown to these wonderful people who truly needed/wanted these things. So if you get a minute you should really check it out in your area, But ladies, if your husbands are anything like mine you kinda have to some on the side. Bryan was constantly bitching about things leaving (things that had been sitting in closets or garages) and how he was convinced he would come home to find our furniture gone. Men.


Another "project" I have been working is applying to volunteer at a foster program called Casa de Esperanza, or House of Hope. This is an agency providing residential, medical, and psychological care to children between the ages of infant to 6 years old. These are babies who are at high risk for abuse, neglect, effects of HIV/AIDS, etc. Once a week, Saturday or Sunday I would go and help out ~ sweeping and washing, rocking and feeding babies, playing and reading with the little ones. I have not been approved yet but I do know that they sent out my references so at least they are considering me. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Full Of Shit Is More Like It...

This past weekend we got a lot of stuff done with the house, nothing fun but things that needed to be taken care of. Such as mopping the floors, cleaning baseboards, washing windows, and the list goes on from there. I had also gotten a pretty large box of clothes together for Goodwill and planned on dropping it off while we were out running errands. Claire helped me push it to the front entryway ~ big mistake!

Bryan was on that thing like a rat on a Cheeto!!

Me: Honey, what are you doing? That is stuff that the kids either grew out of or they're not going to be able to wear next year honey.

Him: Why is this shirt of mine in here?

Me: You're the one that said it was getting too small and your belly was hanging out the bottom of it!

Him: Just that day because I was full!!

Me: Yeah, full of shit. Put that damn thing back in the box Bryan.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

What Makes Me A Blogger?

Am I the only one who ever asks themselves this question? I read quite a few blogs and I envy the folks who seem to be able to write their every day life and it still sounds interesting or funny. I find myself starting to write about my daily routines and then immediately erase it thinking who the hell wants to hear about this? I have found that I only really post when I think I have something funny or want to relive an old memory.

I'd love to know how some bloggers can talk about traffic, grocery shopping, or maybe even something so mundane as hitting up the local library. So tell me, how do you guys do it??

Mmmmm, Mustard!

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off
It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said,

"Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . "Poupon."

*This made me giggle so I thought I'd share!*

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

My Boy In Training

MacGyver Child

After I got home from work yesterday I was exhausted and desperately wanted a nice hot bath. Not feeling like having an audience, I locked the bedroom door after checking on the kids and telling them where I would be. If the house was burning down or Taylor pulled a leg off of one of the animals, they knew to bang on the door.

I was only in there for about 10 minutes and unlocked my bedroom door as I was drying myself out and there on the other side of my door stood Taylor, holding his piggy bank, with a very sly grin.

Me: What were you doing?

Taylor: Unlocking the door.

Me: What? How?

Taylor: See Momma when I take a penny and put it in here (demonstrating as he is talking) I can unlock the door with my penny and then re lock it.

Me: Grreaatt. Now don't do it again.