Thursday, May 31, 2007


I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be not around this weekend. I have taken the day off of work tomorrow and we will actually be going to San Antonio and will return Sunday. This weekend is my grandfather's annual birthday bash. We usually have around 50 people attend and although it is a lot of work, it is also a lot of fun. After I get off of work today I will be heading to Bush Airport to pick up my brother and his girlfriend who have flown in from D.C. The kids are going to be riding with my aunt because we are sorta out of room with 4 people and 2 dogs. Right now I am a little stressed out with everything that has to be done but I usually do it every year. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Memes Galore

I was tagged a lifetime ago by for a meme and then my girl Stephanie over at hit me with another today so I figure I better get busy before memes start piling up like work on my desk.


1. My middle name is Danette. My mother had absolutely no creativity when it came to naming her first born child. She hoped and prayed for a little boy so she could name him Nicholas after the darling boy on the tv show Eight is Enough. God played a joke on her and gave her a girl instead, hence the name Nicole. I have two cousins with the middle names of Annette and Janette - and along came Duhnette....

2. I slept with my baby blanket until the age of 25 when I left my evil ex husband and it became misplaced. The dick probably set it on fire.

3. My family lovingly calls me Colee or Cole, but people who do not know me assume I go by Nikki. As a kid, Nikki was the evil me as far as my parents were concerned.

4. I do not like Jello

5. I have had my tongue pierced 3 times, my upper ear pierced, my belly button pierced, and my eyebrow and took them all out. My friends used to laugh and say how much money I have spent yet had nothing to show for it.

6. I have also died my hair every color imaginable and once had the chelsea haircut (hair buzzed to almost nothing and longish bangs).

7. I chipped my front tooth by trying to open a can with it.

8. I used to despise all meat as a child so I would put as much in my mouth as I could and spit it out either in the toilet or over the neighbor's fence (stood on the slide).

9. Bryan (my dear sweet man) once peed on my foot in the shower

10. I also got my first date with him by lying about my eye color (colored contacts)


Now for Stephanie's.........

The rules:
-Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
-People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
-At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
-Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I bite my nails and even used to bite my toenails as a kid. Ew.

2. I do not like going to church but I DO believe in God.

3. I once tried using hubby's nose hair trimmer thingie and just about ripped out my nose ring.

4. Oh, I have a tiny little diamond stud in my left nostril that I got for my bday about 4 years ago and I love it!!

5. I once with my bff to get her nipple pierced, I even went into the room with her to give some moral support or something. I was mortified when they had her stand against a wall with no shirt on so they could draw teeny marks with a pen on her nipples. I think I was more embarrassed then her.

6. My mother once got on all fours and barked like a dog in front of one of my boyfriends. (Yes I am afraid alcohol was involved)

7. I can not cook. This past week I tried making a Yakisobi(not sure of spelling) and it was like ramen noodle soup but much better. I totally ruined it in the microwave and started to cry

8. Last night I had a sex dream with the hot brothers from the tv show Supernatural. Woohoo!!

Update: I totally forgot to tag me some peeps!!

Have fun!

Monday, May 28, 2007

Memorial Day Weekend

So, how was yall's weekend? It was nice having that extra day off wasn't it?? We didn't really have any big plans because big plans require money - something that is in short supply around our house. Even the ideas of going to our neighbor hood pool or having "splash kingdom" in the back yard fell through since it rained the ENTIRE holiday.

To make matters worse, I had to leave work early on Friday because Claire had come down with a fever so daycare kicked her out. Saturday morning started with her vomiting all over the couch and periodically though out the day. I left the little ones with Daddy thinking I was actually going to have a girls night out but about an hour later I called him crying because I was now throwing up everywhere. Sunday morning I woke up feeling a little better minus Aunt Flo coming to town. Bryan grilled out some very tasty cheeseburgers for us before he was hit with the ugly virus. Our night ended with everyone but me snoring away in the living room while I tried to watch a movie. Now its back to work tomorrow - yeehaw!! :)

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Girl, I just got my nails did!

I Heart Contests!!

Is this not the cutest bag ever?? The girls over at are having a contest and the winner gets this adorable D&B bag plus some Victoria Secret perfume. Go on over and check it out!!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Bad But Oh So Funny

I found this over at, the funniest part about it to me is I remember those houses when I was a kid and we so totally avoided them.

In God We Still Trust

Diamond Rio Song


Guess who won a family four pack of tickets to see The Wiggles in concert in August!?!?!?!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thursday Trivia

No there isn't actually any trivia game going on today, I just liked the title. So sorry if I disappointed anyone...

So this is the last day of school for Claire and Taylor, and let me tell you how very excited they are. They have been counting the days down since October. It worries me that they already beg for school to be over and they are in Pre-k and the 1st grade - yikes. Gives me a nice little look into the future for high school. It is like walking through a minefield when waking these two up. Taylor you either have to tickle him death or just throw him on the floor, Claire has a special game her and Daddy play where he rubs her back in a quick circular motion while saying "get your motor going" and within in a few seconds Claire will fart a few times and Daddy says (uh oh, you're backfiring". I find nothing funny about farting so I just let them do their thing. It amazes me when I pick them up from daycare and they are no longer then crying, snarling, whining monsters but smiling, happy children. I swear, I barely slow down in the daycare parking lot - just open the door and watch 'em roll.

This week has been very hectic for our little family what with all of the end of the year parties, awards ceremonies, and last meeting for Girl Scouts (thank you Lord). Claire got 3 awards this year - one for good citizen, future teacher award, and 210 degree award for her improvement with read. We were very proud of her, I wish I had pictures to share but since my digital never reappeared after the move - we are forced to use either Bryan's cell or buy disposables. Claire was so cute though, she got all excited for each of her little friends that received awards, if not more. She does this adorable happy/excited dance with her arms and jump up and down that I am afraid she has inherited from me. We look like we're gonna fly away when something great happens to us.

Last night was the last meeting for her troop and Taylor and I tried to pass the 2 hour time by playing on the playground, reading, and checking out the other little girls and moms. They are soooo friggin cliquish, it kills me. The girls and their mothers. Honestly, if Claire didn't just love going to these meetings, I so would take her out of Girl Scouts altogether. Their "end of the season" project was making puppets. I am not a huge fan of any kind of puppet, I find them creepy - probably from scary movies I watched as a kid. Claire had a great time putting her little puppet together and I watched some of the other girls who were done and thought, gosh their puppets are ugly - I hope Claire's isn't but no, hers was just as not cute. But she LOVES it! They even had it set up for the girls to put on little shows with their puppets and it really was funny listening to these 6 & 7 year olds use their imaginations. Claire's little group's story was called "Angels, Robber, and Princess". The funniest part was when she was behind the little curtain and making her "puffet" *thats how Taylor says puppet* talk, Taylor turns to me and says "Momma, that sounds just like Twaire!!"! He was amazed to find out it really was his sister!!

Okay so I think I have rambled on long enough. This weekend is Memorial Day weekend, something I am sure you all are very aware of. Anyone have any big plans?? Because we're some broke mofos we will be staying home this year. *sigh* Being an adult is hard work something.......

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

I need these for work!!

Thanks to Lotta over at!!

Something Stinks

Bryan lovingly refers to my blogging addiction as blogerrhea. My Saturday and Sunday mornings start with me jumping on the computer and getting caught up with all of my favorite blogs. This past Sunday this is what I hear from the couch as they watch cartoons......

Daddy: Uh oh, mommy's got her blogerrhea on.

Taylor: Ew mama you stink!


Sunday night I was having a terrible time sleeping. This is really unusual for me because I am one of those people that when my head hits the pillow, I am sawin' logs. That night it just seemed everything was waking me up (kids, Bryan, puppy,etc) and then it was taking me hours to fall back asleep. At around 3:30 in the morning Bryan startles me awake with the question of whether or not we shut the garage door. Considering I did not open the damn thing I have no idea. After returning to bed grumbling about it having been open he turns his back to me and goes back to sleep. Again, I lay there waiting for my little eyes to close when on the brink of achieving my goal, my head jerks back from this god awful stench!!

Me: Dude, did you just fart??

Him: Giggling softly and pretending to be asleep

Me: Awww man that is bad, I'm gonna have to sleep on the damn couch.

Him: Honey I'm sorry, I was sleeping and it just kinda fell out.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sneaky Taylor

Bryan and I were watching a movie yesterday when Taylor came into the livingroom. He walked over to the end table and started to try to take something that was not his outside.

Bryan: Looking over at Taylor

Taylor: Daddy, watch the movie please.

Bryan and I started laughing and he told Taylor to leave the item alone.

For my sister!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

A B C Meme

Yes, yes another meme - this one is for Toni over at

A - Attached or Single? Very happily attached actually - I could not ask for a better man then Bryan. Besides a hiring a maid, who else would clean, cook, do laundry, entertain the kids?

B - Best Friend? That would have to be Sheila at this point in my life. I am still "in touch" with childhood BFFs but with time everyone changes.

C - Cake or Pie? Neither, I do not like sweets - but offer me a pickle or some chips ... yum!

D - Drink of Choice? Alcoholic beverage would have to be Bud Lite but just like with dinner or something - Coke.

E - Essential Items? Cell phone

F - Favorite Color? Blue

G - Gummie Bears or Worms? If I have to choose one it would be the worms but the sour ones.

H - Hometown? Houston, TX

I - Indulgence? Bubble bath with a good book

J - January or February? February because I love Valentines Day - Yes I am one of those girls!

K - Kids? Two - Claire Britley (6) & Taylor Louis (5)

L - Life is incomplete without? My family and laughter

M - Marriage Date? Which one?

N - Number of Siblings? Two, and I am the oldest. My brother is next (Nick) and he lives in D.C. and my baby sister (Lyndsey) is in the military

O - Oranges or Apples? Apples (the green ones)

P - Phobias/Fears? I am scared to death of most bugs and of course something happening to my children

Q - Favorite Quote? Fool me once, shame on you - Fool me twice, shame on me.

R - Reason to smile? Every morning when I wake up....

S - Seasons? Fall is my all time fav!

T - Tags?,, and

U - Unknown Fact About Me? I eat my food one thing at a time, I turn my plate when I am ready to eat what is next, and nothing can touch.

V - Vegetarian or oppressor of animals? Both

W - Worst Habit? Hard to pick just one.... umm, biting my nails

X - X-rays or ultrasounds? I have only had one x-ray my entire life but quite a few ultrasounds

Y - Your favorite food? Mexican

Z - Zodiac? Scorpio

About Me Survey

Holly from tagged me with this so, here goes:

What time is it?


What's your full name?

Nicole Danette Wilson

What are you most afraid of?

Something happening to one of my babies (and bugs)

What is the most recent movie that you have seen in a Theater?

I haven't been to a theater in a while. The last one was Lyrics and Melody or something to like that

Birth Place?

Houston, TX

Fave food?

Italian, Mexican

What's your natural hair color?

Dark Brown

Ever been to Alaska?


Ever been toilet paper rolling?


Love someone so much it made you cry?


Been in a car accident?


Croutons or bacon bits?


Favorite day of the week?


Favorite restaurant?

Lucky Star/Casa Ole

Favorite Flower?


Favorite sport to watch?


Favorite drink?


Favorite ice cream?


Disney or Warner Brothers?


Ever been on a ship?

Is that the same thing as a small boat?

What color is your bedroom carpet?

Light beige

How many times did you fail your driver's test?


Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail?

Work related

What do you do when you are bored?

I usually read blogs



Who will respond to this the quickest?

Not sure

Who is the person you tagged that is least likely to respond?

I hope they both do!

Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses?

Toni (she cracks me up)

Favorite TV show or channel?


Last person you went to dinner with?

Bryan and the kids

Secret Ambitions?

To own my own daycare

What are your favorite color"


How many tattoos do you have?

How many pets do you have?

two dogs, 2 cats, 1 turtle, 1 hamster, 2 fish

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

The egg

What do you want to do before you die?

Have children and grandchildren.

Have you ever been to Hawaii?


Have you been to countries outside the U.S.?


Who am I tagging?

Wendy from and Toni from

Time this survey ended3:46pm

Women vs Men Mentality

A few nights ago I had made myself a treat of popcorn with Tabasco sauce (hey don't knock it until you try it) and I ended up with a half popped kernel lodged in one of my back teeth. I tried brushing my teeth, using a tooth pick, dental floss, and finally my tongue - by the end of the evening (4 hours later after becoming stuck) my gum was killing me and I had a headache but I managed to free the damn thing.

Fast forward to the next evening and Bryan is having himself a bag of popcorn while I am reading in the bedroom. An hour or so later he comes in there to tell me that now he has gotten the popcorn stuck in a tooth way in the back as well. How ironic right? So I told him everything I tried and said the best thing was actually my tongue. So he brushes his teeth, flosses, toothpicks it, and still the stubborn popcorn remain lodged. I ended up going to bed and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth, I see a paper towel lying on the counter with an array of "tools" that Bryan used to try and free his tooth. I saw all kinds of dental things but what really surprised the hell out of me was the steak knife!!

Last night he came home from work complaining about that tooth hurting. Well hell yeah it is hurting - you did everything but throw a grenade at the damn thing!!!!

Update to WTH Post

I have to tell you guys the reason why it was so ironic yesterday that I got that "spam" email in my yahoo. Shortly before that popped into my mailbox, I had stuck my foot into my big ass mouth with my boss.

To give you an insight into my relationship with my boss, I lovingly refer to her as Hitler and am usually terrified of her.

On that note, a coworker came to me yesterday asking me if I had change for a five. I told him to go and ask Hitler because she always had a ton of dollar bills. Trying to be funny, I then commented how that should make us wonder what her weekend job was. She overheard me and flames shot out of her eyes and almost burnt my eyebrows off. When she asked me what i had said I threw dirt onto the fire by saying I was meaning she was like a waitress on the weekends and that is why she had so many dollar bills.

Moral of the story: Do not joke with someone who used to freak out if the staples were not on the correct side of the paper.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

What the hell??

This is a spam email I got today: You may be making more than you're worth Nicole

Hmmm, I wonder if my boss is emailing me. ;)

Makeover Monday Update

I am a day late on this but hey, it is my blog right?? A few weeks ago I signed up for this because my friend Shauna over at totally inspired me to do so. My goal/goals were here in case you are interested. So did I do any of them??

Well, I really tried with the patience battle and it was going really well for the first couple of days. This past weekend and this week I am have been slacking a bit on it though. I can honestly say though that I am giving it my very best. After the post, we did some family entertainment both weekends!!! I was so proud of myself and our little family. We took them to Traders Village which is this huge ass flea market here in Houston that sells everything from clothes to animals to crap I have never seen in my life. They also have some old carnival-like rides that my two adore. We made it for the few hours we were there without one meltdown, although lots of "mommy, daddy I want that! I want that!" That same evening we took the kids out to the Waller County Fairgrounds where they were having St. Jude's BBQ cook off and they jumped on moonwalks, drank sodas (a huge treat), and had hot dogs and crap to their little hearts delight.

This past Friday we invited some friends over and their rugrats to play cards and allow the children to terrorize our home. Saturday I thought our younguns would die from heart failure when we told them we would be going over to BFF Sheila's apartment complex where we swam and grilled out until the sun went down. Everyone had a great time and no one drowned so I have to say that my Make Over is going pretty swell. Three Cheers For Mommy!! :)

Out Of Mouths Of Babes # 3 I Think...

A few weeks ago I had went out with a bunch of people from work on a Friday and that Saturday morning, mommy was suffering from a serious hang over.

Taylor: What's wrong mommy?

Me: Ohhhh, my stomach hurts - it is not feeling very well.

Taylor: Maybe you have a captilla in there..

(Can you tell what book he has been reading at school?)

As I started to roll myself out of the bed to go to the kitchen Claire stops me,

Claire: *Pointing at my bra laying on the dresser* Mommy, don't forget to put on your boobs.


Last night I overheard this conversation between Taylor(5) and Claire(6)

Taylor: Elvis is the bomb right Claire?

Claire: Yeah, but so is Kenny Chesney.

Taylor: Yeah but Elvis is THE bomb.

Claire: But Kenny Chesney is a cowboy bomb!

Taylor: So is Elvis.

Claire: No-no Elvis is not a cowboy!!

Taylor: Yes he is right mom?

Claire: *voices are rising* Mom, tell him Elvis is NOT a cowboy!!

Me: They are both the bomb, leave it at that please.

This morning while I was getting Claire dressed I asked her if she had sweet dreams last night,

Claire: Yes I did.

Me: What did you dream about?

Claire: I pulled 5 Christmas ornaments out of my butt.

Me: Nice.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Why Do You Blog?

Shauna over at has tagged me for a meme and since I adore Shauna - of course I will do it. :)

The rules are simple, give five reasons why you love blogging (not hard at all) and tag five other bloggers. No tag backs either but be sure to let them know who tagged you.


1. I started reading blogs a few years ago. I started off with when I ran across it while nosin' around in the Houston Chronicle when I was bored at work one day. Then I started reading Issa's World, and I was hooked. It seemed like her blog was all I ever thought of and she was just so damn funny. When I found out that she was my age I was shocked - I decided right then that I wanted to be a part of this world too. She no longer blogs because her life got very busy, but I do remember how very proud I was to tell her that I had started to blog as well and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up.

2. I would like to say another reason would be to "vent" to the world but honestly, I don't really feel that way. There are too many people that read my blog that it could cause some ripples in my little pond - if you know what I mean. I like to talk and LOVE to make people laugh, and this is a great way to do so.

3. My life. My blog gives me the chance to share my past (good and bad) and hear opinions from way on the other side of the fence.

4. Meeting new friends. Although I can honestly say I have never actually "met" any of my blogging friends (cept for Holly) - it is nice to look at the comments and think oh how special I am they took the time to read my crap.

5. And last but not least, my kids. If I didn't have a blog - how ever would I share them and their quirky little ways to the world.

So now it is your turn.

Friday, May 11, 2007


Although I did not actually give birth again, we have a brand new bundle of joy in our home! Her name is Gracie and she is a little over 8 weeks old. I can feel my nice beige carpet cringing already. So lets all give a warm welcome to our little Gracie Girl!!!!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Happy Mothers Day

*This was too good not to share*

Mothers If you send this to just one person, it should makeit all the way around the world by Mother's Day. This is for the mothers who have sat up all nightwith sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayerwieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's all right honey, Mommy's here." Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on endsoothing crying babies who can't be comforted. This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers intheir purse. For all the mothers who run carpools and makecookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T. This is for the mothers who gave birth to babiesthey'll never see. And the mothers who took those ba bies a nd gave themhomes. And for the mothers who lost their baby in that precious 9months that they will never get to watch grow on earth but one day will bereunited with in Heaven! This is for the mothers whose priceless artcollections are hanging on their refrigerator doors. And for all the mothers who froze their buns onmetal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you
see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it. This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids inthe grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feetand scream for ice cream before dinner.
And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens. This is for all the mothers who sat down with theirchildren and explained all about making babies.
And for all the mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words. This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so theirchildren can eat.
For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon"twice a night for a year.
And then read it again. "Just one moretime." This is for all the mothers who taught theirchildren to tie their shoelaces before they started school.
And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead. This is for all the mothers who teach their sons tocook and their daughters to sink a jump shot. This is for every mother whose head turnsautomatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they knowtheir own offspring are at home -- or even away at college. This is for all the mothers who sent their kids toschool with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up, Right away. This is for mothers whose children have gone astray,who can't find the words to reach them. This is for all the stepmothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes totally unappreciated! For all the mothers who bite their lips until theybleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green. For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the motherswho sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who justcame home from school, safely. This is for all the mothers who taught their childrento be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war. What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart?Is it the ache you feel when you watch your
son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. toput your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later,that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to
hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee fromwherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a caraccident, a child dying? The emotions of motherhood are universal and so ourthoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes andsleep deprivation.....And mature mothers learning to letgo. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. For all of us. Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray. Please pass along to all the Moms in your life. "Home is what catches you when you fall--and we all fall."

Monday, May 7, 2007


Tonight I overhead this as daddy walked by Taylor's room:

Taylor: Playing with his pee pee

Bryan: Hey - boy get your hands out of your pants, that is not a toy!!

Can you help?

Go on over to and see if you can help, kay??

*This is a little piece from her post:

As you may, or may not know, Jenn and I are traveling to Swaziland, Africa at the end of the month to volunteer in a hospital in the small town of Manzini for a month. What prompted this??… I’m trying to off-set my carbon-credits with good-Karma-juju credits, thereby allowing me to continue my current global-carbon-polluting ways.
Seriously - I have recently been in contact via email with someone at the hospital, as well as someone at an orphanage nearby. And they are in need of supplies. I am attempting to get donations from VGH ( through the Vancouver General Hospital / UBC Hospital Foundation) for simple items such as diagnostic pen-lights, bone and pleural biopsy needles, and N95 masks ( the masks are for the opportunistic infections coinciding with HIV/AIDS … eg: TB ( see: drug resistant TB on the rise ) Swaziland has the worlds highest HIV/AIDS infection rate (38.8%) life expectancy : male: 31.84 years female: 32.62 years.
70% of the country earns less than $1 American per day (wikipedia)
I am also organizing donations for the orphanage nearby. these kids are orphaned due to the loss of their entire families from HIV/AIDS. they have no family to take them in, and the fortunate ones end up in the orphanage.
SO… my plea…. the orphanage has stated that cash can be used to buy needed supplies in Swaziland, as well as repair the building. A prior volunteer raised a few thousand dollars and they were able to repair the sewage system in the orphanage.
They are in need of preschool toys ( a lot of which can be bought there).
According to Dr. Hynd, they need
1) Cash
2) Used / New Games eg: trivial pursuit, scrabble, etc ( fun yet educational… please have all pieces )
3) Flip flops ( sandals ) for youth ( ages 2 to 15 )
3.5) Cash
4) ? Sports equipment – balls should be deflated for space ( maybe nerf stuff ? ) (I’ve already lined up soccer balls and soccer jerseys )
5) European versions DVDs for kids ( donated DVD player form Europe / having to do with the region code on the DVDs… north American DVDs will not work )
6) did i mention cash ? ( i swear every single penny will go directly to the orphanage )
7) Costco boxes of fruit bars / energy bars ( not sure about importing food stuffs… i’m currently checking on that )
8) toothbrushes, floss
Any other suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Nicole + Needs

Lotta over at did this cute lil' Google Meme so I thought I'd play along.

The rules are go to Google and type "your name + needs" and see what comes up.


~Nicole needs a bob job.
~Nicole needs a taco.
~Nicole just needs a drink. (i like that one)
~Nicole needs inspiration/encouragment (dont we all)
~Nicole needs a band.
~Nicole needs a family who nutures and loves her.

Okay your turn - what do you need??

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Some Men Part 2

I am sure you all are wondering what else could possibly have happened after I returned to College Station, pretty much the bottom dropped out of my world. It seemed like I was supposed to go back to "normal" and act like nothing ever happened. My whole life felt like a lie. I was still living with my roommates, I will use that term loosely as they were both guys and one just happened to be the on again and off again relationship from high school that I had spoke of. And they knew nothing of my situation. I quit my job because who the hell wanted to work there now, and besides he had also quit they said. The cat was out of the bag for us and I had become the HEB scandal. Supposedly he went back to his wife and boohooed and told her all about his little "fling" with me and he was so sorry and lets work it all out shit, which she then told her BFF which was his brother's wife who also worked for HEB and lord what a mess right?

So I am sure you are now asking yourselves, but what about the pregnancy and all right?? Well after all the shit hit the fan with his marriage and friends and all, I became that psycho bitch ex girlfriend that you hear about. Basically, I stalked his ass because I wanted answers. I wanted to know why, how could he just stop loving me and go back to her and what about our baby and our plans?? I sent email after email, phone call after phone call, and drove by his apartment many many times - I am surprised no one called the cops on my ass thinking I was some sort of lunatic. I had heard through the grapevine that he had returned to San Antonio to figure out what he and the wifey were going to do. I know that he told her about me but to this day I honestly don't know if he ever told her about my pregnancy.

What seemed like an eternity to me, he finally came back to the apartment - alone. I do not remember where she was or how we got in touch with each other, but we sat down in his apartment and he told me how sorry he was and it was him not me and a bunch of other shit. He couldn't marry me because he had a wife and they were meant to be together or something like that and well, unless I was going to raise this baby by myself (because I will not have anything to do with you or it-these were his exact words) then I needed to have an abortion and he'd even pay for it.

Again the details get fuzzy, I don't remember who set up the appointment or what all happened leading up to that day - but I do remember him taking me to downtown Houston and us staying over night in a motel pretty much in walking distance of the clinic. I also remember us having sex that night and me pretty much willing to do anything just to make him want to be with me and this baby. I remember feeling so empty, so used. I remember sitting in the waiting area with other people and noticing some mothers in there with their little ones (this place had some sort of free clinic or something where I guess you could get your kids' immunizations) and how jealous and angry I felt because they got to keep theirs. Some things that I will never forget that day was watching him plop down his credit card to pay for it like he was doing me a favor. How easy it was for him to rid this "problem" with a damn American Express. Or talking to the counselor and having to rate on a scale for keeping and not keeping the baby. Walking in their I was a determined 10 that I was keeping this child but after listening to the counselor (someone I later sent a thank you card to because I will never forget her) and realizing that I was keeping this baby for all of the wrong reasons. I had it in my head that choosing to have this baby would make him want to be with me. Who cared if I was only 19, had no job, and couldn't even take care of myself! In the end I made the best decision for me at the time, even though my heart was broken and to this day will never be the same.

That night I stayed with him because I was so drugged out of my mind and in so much pain, and the next morning was New Years. Happy 1998 Nicole!

He stayed with is wife for a few years and would track me down via yahoo once in awhile. I remember not even a year after that all happened, he emailed me saying how they were going to be having their first child, I do not have to tell you how that made me feel. Since then, they had 2 kids - and then divorced. He once told me what a wonderful person I was for even speaking to him again and forgiving him for everything he did. Chris - I may forgive, but I will never forget.

Make Over Monday #1

Okay so I know it is not Monday but we're going to pretend like it is for this post. So Shauna over at is doing this:

Here's what to do:Choose a goal. It can be a new one each week, or something more long term.Each Monday, write a Makeover Monday post to tell us whether or not you've accomplished your goal from the previous week. Then state your new goal for the week ahead. If you are working towards a long-term goal, just update us on your progress.

So I thought I'd totally jump on the band wagon. The most obvious goal I would like to work on first is the kiddos. I want to have more patience with them, and I want to do more family oriented things with them. I am the first one to raise my voice when Taylor drools all over his shirt or pants because he doesn't want to do something I have asked him to do. What really bothers me is I hear how Claire talks to her brother and it is not good. She always raises her voice if not yells, and she has started doing the same to us. I feel like I am losing my parental control bit by bit. They are both getting older, getting smarter, and of course more challenging. But as they are changing I need to change with them. For the better though. I want my children to respect me, not fear me. There is such a thin line there. And I feel like I am teetering on it dangerously. Please don't think that I beat my children or degrade them, I just need to realize that things can get done without me screaming my damn head off.

The first step is admitting there is a problem though right??

As for the doing more family things, I hate to say but I have become one of those moms who doesn't want to go anywhere with her munchkins because one, I am freaking tired by the end of the week and two, I prefer to keep the kids in atmospheres that I know they will not act like trolls. Does that make any sense? I mean we'll take them to McDonalds or to the park but if someone should call and say hey lets go out to dinner at a nice "quiet" restaurant, I am the fist to say hell no. I can honestly say that they are getting better as they get older. And I know again I am mostly to blame for their ill manners because I did not subject them to these places when they were younger. That is going to change though. My second goal is to start doing more fun things on the weekends that will get us out of the house. Baby steps. Wish me luck.