Thursday, October 4, 2007

Mmmmm, Mustard!

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.

The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.

I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.

I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off
It was not mustard.

No man ever put a baby down faster.

It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.

With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said,

"Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . "Poupon."


*This made me giggle so I thought I'd share!*

2 comments:

Special K ~Toni said...

Too funny!

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

I don't think I'll eat mustard again for a loooong time.