Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Death & Children

Monday morning the kids came rushing into the bedroom where Bryan is staying at his mom and step dad's house. Both kids were going ninety to nothing as usual and Bryan groggily tried to open his eyes. Claire asked why he was so tired and acting so sad and he asked the both of them to crawl into bed with him so he could talk to them about something.

Even though both of the kids had been at the hospital on Sunday, all they knew was Pop (Bryan's dad) was sick, but they did not know that he had passed away. Bryan went on to tell them that Pop had died yesterday and gone to Heaven. Taylor piped up "oh like Uncle Greg?" because he was with me a couple of years ago when my Uncle died and we went to the funeral. Taylor was only 4 so I really didn't know how much he remembered but it seemed to help him understand a little better what was going on.

Claire on the other hand had been in GA at the time with Bryan so she was not familiar with it and honestly, neither of the kids have really had to deal with losing a loved one they are close to. Claire just wanted her Daddy to be happy again, she isn't used to seeing him so down and out so she told him that Pop died yesterday so he didn't have to be sad today.

Bryan explained to her that Pop was his Dad and it was going to take longer than a few days to not be sad anymore. He asked them if they had any questions which Claire responded with a no but Taylor asked, "Why do they put them in those cartons?" Bryan said he couldn't help but laugh and told him that the cartons were actually called coffins or caskets. I am glad that they were able to get him to laugh, just a little.

I know death is a part of life, but I don't feel the need to rush into it if we don't have to. My son is more just curious but my daughter tends to be the dramatic one and I just don't feel she is ready to see a dead body, especially a person she saw alive just 3 days ago. I was happy to hear that Bryan had decided not to take the kids to the wake, only the funeral where the casket will be closed. He too remembered as a child having to go to wakes and what a horrible and scary time it was to a child. For now, I think the dead fish or pet turtle is enough for them.

1 comment:

Aunt Becky said...


It's always so hard to explain this sort of stuff to kids. My eldest is going through a "you're going to die sooner than me" phase where he calculates how quickly we're going to go. Each of us.

I never know what to say really.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know I'm late, but I'm always late. Please accept my condolences.