This past weekend we got a lot of stuff done with the house, nothing fun but things that needed to be taken care of. Such as mopping the floors, cleaning baseboards, washing windows, and the list goes on from there. I had also gotten a pretty large box of clothes together for Goodwill and planned on dropping it off while we were out running errands. Claire helped me push it to the front entryway ~ big mistake!
Bryan was on that thing like a rat on a Cheeto!!
Me: Honey, what are you doing? That is stuff that the kids either grew out of or they're not going to be able to wear next year honey.
Him: Why is this shirt of mine in here?
Me: You're the one that said it was getting too small and your belly was hanging out the bottom of it!
Him: Just that day because I was full!!
Me: Yeah, full of shit. Put that damn thing back in the box Bryan.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
What Makes Me A Blogger?
Am I the only one who ever asks themselves this question? I read quite a few blogs and I envy the folks who seem to be able to write their every day life and it still sounds interesting or funny. I find myself starting to write about my daily routines and then immediately erase it thinking who the hell wants to hear about this? I have found that I only really post when I think I have something funny or want to relive an old memory.
I'd love to know how some bloggers can talk about traffic, grocery shopping, or maybe even something so mundane as hitting up the local library. So tell me, how do you guys do it??
I'd love to know how some bloggers can talk about traffic, grocery shopping, or maybe even something so mundane as hitting up the local library. So tell me, how do you guys do it??
Mmmmm, Mustard!
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.
It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.
With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said,
"Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . "Poupon."
*This made me giggle so I thought I'd share!*
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.
It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding.
With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said,
"Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . "Poupon."
*This made me giggle so I thought I'd share!*
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
MacGyver Child
After I got home from work yesterday I was exhausted and desperately wanted a nice hot bath. Not feeling like having an audience, I locked the bedroom door after checking on the kids and telling them where I would be. If the house was burning down or Taylor pulled a leg off of one of the animals, they knew to bang on the door.
I was only in there for about 10 minutes and unlocked my bedroom door as I was drying myself out and there on the other side of my door stood Taylor, holding his piggy bank, with a very sly grin.
Me: What were you doing?
Taylor: Unlocking the door.
Me: What? How?
Taylor: See Momma when I take a penny and put it in here (demonstrating as he is talking) I can unlock the door with my penny and then re lock it.
Me: Grreaatt. Now don't do it again.
I was only in there for about 10 minutes and unlocked my bedroom door as I was drying myself out and there on the other side of my door stood Taylor, holding his piggy bank, with a very sly grin.
Me: What were you doing?
Taylor: Unlocking the door.
Me: What? How?
Taylor: See Momma when I take a penny and put it in here (demonstrating as he is talking) I can unlock the door with my penny and then re lock it.
Me: Grreaatt. Now don't do it again.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Google, Are You Trying To Get Me Fired??
Yesterday I had plans to go over to my aunt's house and get my hair trimmed up, one thing that sucks about having short hair now is the upkeep. Before I had even left work Bryan called and said Taylor had came home with gum stuck in his hair. Nice. After much inquiring we could not get a straight answer from the boy as to how it got there. He claims that it was on the bus seat but as Bryan pointed out, he would have had to have been sitting on his damn head for the gum to get where it was.
So after getting off the phone with Bryan, I went onto Google to try and find this cute hair style that I had seen on a few boys at the local pool. I needed a pic to show my aunt so she would know what I was wanting. I put in the search bar a few different things but was having no luck. I then typed in *cute pics of boys hairstyles* and started scrolling through some of the options. What happened next just about gave me a heart attack. I clicked on one option that looked promising and lo and behold if this picture of a woman doesn't pop up onto my screen with a freaking penis hanging out of her mouth. I don't think I need to go any further on what she was doing with it, you can use your imagination. I am desperately trying to close it when my computer freezes up!! I could actually hear my heart beat in my EARS people and I flew up and practically threw my body on the computer screen. What seemed like an eternity (but was prolly only a few seconds) I got the shit to go away. Good grief!!
Giving up on the picture after that little episode, I decided Taylor was just going to have to keep the style (which is just hair growing for now) that he has. I picked them up on the way to my Aunt's and after I gt mine done Taylor was next. I sat in the air conditioned house until he was done and then proceeded to sweep hair while he went into the bathroom to check out his new do. With tears streaming down his face he comes back into the living room and proceeds to tell me how he didn't even get a hair cut! I told him of course he did and he continued to have a melt down and demanded that I go look in the mirror because there was no haircut in there! Turns out he wanted the "bald Pop-pop" look that my Dad sports which actually means Taylor had wanted his head shaved like we did for the summer and had assumed we would just do it. Last night before bed he made me promise that for Halloween we could go over to JJ's (that is what the kids call my aunt) and get his head bald please Momma. I guess Taylor wants to be Uncle Fester for Halloween now! ;)
So after getting off the phone with Bryan, I went onto Google to try and find this cute hair style that I had seen on a few boys at the local pool. I needed a pic to show my aunt so she would know what I was wanting. I put in the search bar a few different things but was having no luck. I then typed in *cute pics of boys hairstyles* and started scrolling through some of the options. What happened next just about gave me a heart attack. I clicked on one option that looked promising and lo and behold if this picture of a woman doesn't pop up onto my screen with a freaking penis hanging out of her mouth. I don't think I need to go any further on what she was doing with it, you can use your imagination. I am desperately trying to close it when my computer freezes up!! I could actually hear my heart beat in my EARS people and I flew up and practically threw my body on the computer screen. What seemed like an eternity (but was prolly only a few seconds) I got the shit to go away. Good grief!!
Giving up on the picture after that little episode, I decided Taylor was just going to have to keep the style (which is just hair growing for now) that he has. I picked them up on the way to my Aunt's and after I gt mine done Taylor was next. I sat in the air conditioned house until he was done and then proceeded to sweep hair while he went into the bathroom to check out his new do. With tears streaming down his face he comes back into the living room and proceeds to tell me how he didn't even get a hair cut! I told him of course he did and he continued to have a melt down and demanded that I go look in the mirror because there was no haircut in there! Turns out he wanted the "bald Pop-pop" look that my Dad sports which actually means Taylor had wanted his head shaved like we did for the summer and had assumed we would just do it. Last night before bed he made me promise that for Halloween we could go over to JJ's (that is what the kids call my aunt) and get his head bald please Momma. I guess Taylor wants to be Uncle Fester for Halloween now! ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)