Like Mother Like Daughter, Kinda.

Have you ever seen the movie The Indecent Proposal?  I believe I have asked this question before when I was posting about the movies, I watched that day.  But we have some newbies so if you haven't, a married couple down on their luck money-wise are offered a proposal from another man to sleep with the wife.  Bryan said he wouldn't do it, but I would.  I love my husband and the idea of having sex with another man is not on my top 5 for sure, but if it meant we were set for life, sign me up and consider me yours till it's done!  I can't lie; I have done my fair share of things sexually for money back in the day.  Only with actual boyfriends, but I have.  Not sex though.  What can I say, my Mother taught me well......

My Mother was all about her looks, and yes, she was beautiful and an amazing body, but inside she has a black heart.  It's all about her.  In my opinion, she should have never had children because she is too selfish.  Us 3 kids had savings accounts our parents helped us set up.  We were young but would save our coins etc. and my dad would match it.  When she left my dad, she drained all 3 accounts.  She taught me at a young age men would do or give just about anything when you are beautiful and sexy.  Yes, I know, this is not a good thing but that was not how I raised by her.  I remember one time when I was living with Anne and Vashti when I was around 20, that is when I met Bryan and Drew.  Feel free to search in my previous posts to refresh yourselves or learn.  Anne actually called my Mother to complain about me receiving constant gifts from the boys.  I am not sure if they were just jealous or what, but them my Mother chose to belittle me about it.  I remember thinking, I am doing what you taught me, but I would never argue with her for fear of getting slapped or who knows what else.

Now, have I used sex with Bryan when he is in a bad mood - Hell Yeah, I have and he knows it.  I used to be hot AF, then I got older, a desk job, discovered beer, ya know but no matter what, Bryan has always been attracted me.  It helps that we "grew" together because I had an old work friend and she got fat and he didn't and lost interest in her which is sad.  We both lost a lot of weight, which makes me feel more attractive although I weighed a few days ago and asked Bryan if the scale was broken because damn, that shit sneaks up on you like "Mr. Deeds".  I had gotten down to 174 while Doordashing, but since trying to find a career that I really wanted, which means sitting at my computer all day in the home office, and drinking, well my ass is up now to 200.  At my heaviest I was 240 but the last time I weighed I think I was 290 and then apparently didn't step back on that bitch for like a month.  What does this mean?  Well, it makes me not feel so confident especially with Bryan now.  I know I saw his ass looking at my stomach yesterday.  Which makes me not want to be really sexually active because I don't feel like the sexy bitch I normally do.  I know I am still sexy with curves and all, but it makes me proud to have lost that weight.  Which means I need that new job pronto, so I don't drink as much and I need to get more active for sure!!  In the meantime, I will channer my inner Anna-Nicole so I can be the bad-ass bitch I know I am.

XOXO ~ Nicole