Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Fun Tuesday

Theotherbear is hosting Fun Monday, and I guess in response to Jenny's Naked Blogging campaign, she wants us to divulge something deep and dark and... false.
Share with us a little white lie that you may, or may not, have gotten away with. Perhaps it's something more sinister than a little white lie - maybe even a deep dark secret that you've kept buried for years! All the better! Now's your chance to get it off your chest and confess: "Yes, I did eat that last slice of cheese cake", "No, I wasn't washing my hair that Saturday", "Those pants do make you look fat"!

So I stole this from Stephanie at http://blogs.chron.com/mamadrama/. Who doesn't like revealing deep, dark secrets right?

A long, long time ago (or so it seems) I was 22 and living in GA with my childhood best friend and her mother. I worked at a daycare with BF and we had a great little life going. One evening we went out to eat and I met the cutest waiter I had ever seen, his name was Bryan. Bryan and I went on a date that evening after he got off of work and we saw each other quite frequently. I was head over heels for this bad boy with dirty blond curls. I was very naive at that time of my life and Bryan did things with his life that I did not approve of. He did smoked pot, drank, and his world revolved around his loserrific friends. Making time for me was like pulling teeth for Bryan. A few months went by and our relationship was constantly off and on.

During this roller coaster relationship, I met another boy named Drew. Drew was beautiful, but broken on the inside. He came from a horrible family that showed more violence towards him then love, so he was just what I wanted - what my family called a fixerupper. Drew wanted to be with me every waking hour and I thought this was wonderful, such a huge difference from Bryan who never seemed to have the time and acted like I was more of a pain in the ass then anything else.

So what did I do? What any young, pretty girl would do right?? (serious sarcasm there) I dated them both. I saw Bryan during the day and he would take me places like the zoo, The Coca Cola Factory, the mall because he had the money to do those things. I spent my evenings with Drew and we watched movies, played at the park, things that didn't cost anything because Drew didn't have any money.

This went on for a few months, my friends and family were constantly telling me how wrong this was but I chose to ignore them. How bad it could it be when both guys knew about each other and although they weren't thrilled with me being with someone else, they both chose to be with me then not at all. I was on cloud nine.

Until the day I found out I was pregnant. I took the test while I was with Bryan one evening and he immediately wanted to know who's baby it was. My immature mind counted back the best I could but really just picked the man that I loved the most. Drew. I never really saw much of Bryan after that day. Once in awhile he might call or I would stop by the restaurant to say hello but honestly, I was the happiest girl in the whole wide world. I was having a baby with a boy I adored.

Claire was born August 14th at 4:20 in the morning in 2000. My mom and Drew were there with me. The last thing my tired eyes saw before the drugs took over was Drew holding his baby girl with such pride.

Drew and I got married in September 2000, had a cute 2 bedroom apartment, and the cutest baby ever. What killed me was every time I looked at my baby, I saw Bryan. His hair, his smile, his eyes. I lived with this secret inside me and thought I would die with this secret slowly eating away at me. But life had it's own surprises for me and as you all know, I am now married to Bryan with two children ~ Claire and Taylor.

Long story short, I became pregnant with Drew before Claire was even two and during my pregnancy and after, Drew was slowly drifting away. It seemed it was his turn to get into drugs, friends, drinking and I just could have that in my children's lives. I left him before Taylor was even one because Drew had become a monster. The man I had loved so very much was no longer there.

Bryan met Claire when she was 3. They fell in love with each other immediately. And we all live happily ever after.


Jenny said...

Wow. wow. wow.

Your life is like a soap opera...but with a fairy tale ending.

I am just amazed at your life, my friend.

min said...

You are very brave to write about that!! You have two lovely children and have made a great home for all of you. It's almost like an old movie. Boy meets girl...boy loses girl...girl meets someone else blah, blah, blah. But out of all that confusion comes something wonderful.

Stephanie said...

You are an amazingly courageous lady. Seriously.

And, I can't help but get all...

Well, I've always believed God can turn any tragedy into a triumph. You have the proof in your lovely, lovely family.

AJsMom said...

And I thought MY life story was a little convoluted...

Special K ~Toni said...

Wow! I never would hate thought that!

I use to live in Atlanta too!

Hol&J said...

Life throws us twists and turns, but it works out in the end.

I'm glad to have met and gotten to know you. Friends always make things a little better.

Phoenix said...

Dam woman, what a powerful story. I'm so glad that it ended well.