Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Updates Among Other Things

I know I have not been around, not posting or even reading any one's blogs - I just haven't been in the mood.

Things seem to be quickly changing in our little family, and I am not sure if I could say for the better. Before I go into all of that, I wanted to share something with all of you.

When I was desperately trying to stay pregnant with my tiny Taylor, I was hospitalized and was not allowed out of the bed except to pee. It was horrible and I was miserable from all of the drugs they pumped into my daily which made me feel like I had the flu. I puked constantly and to this day cannot stand the smell of citrus. I was living in FL at the time with my then husband (loser) and my entire family was back in TX. I felt many worlds away and terribly alone.

My step mother was the one who was actually able to come and stay with me and try to keep my spirits up as best as she could. She tried daily to visit the local library to email and update family members of my well being and the miracle in my belly. I wanted you guys to see one of the "updates".


Hi everyone,

Grandma, Lori, got here on the 16th and boy were Mom and I glad to see her! Mom could not get out of bed (except to pee) and that was an ordeal in itself.

Poor Mom, she was stuck, prodded, checked, restricted (movement and fluids), not to mention drugged! All of that was in an effort to keep me inside of her as long as possible. It worked for 7 days, then on the 7th day I let everyone know that I wanted OUT! So they took me.

At around 5:00pm they (the nurses and doctors, which were many) decided that they would come and get me. And they did. I was brought into this world at 8:22 pm on the 22nd of March.

I think Mom had a rough time, because they said the "block" they gave her did not work too well. As soon as I was born to the world the whisked me away to a NeoNatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and I heard they gave Mom some "big time" drugs for pain.

Mom is doing better. I'm so glad. I didn't want to hurt her in any way, I just wanted to be on the outside with her.

Since my birth, Mom told me I weighed 1 pound 9 ounces and I am 13 1/2 inches long.

Daddy and his Daddy came to see me that night as well as some other people in Daddy's family. Grandma told me that Mommy could not come just yet. But the next day...

Here comes MOMMY! I would know that voice anywhere!
Mommy and Grandma came to see me when Mommy could be brought in, I was so happy! Mommy cried when she saw how small I am, but I showed her how determined I am.

The nurses explained to Mommy, Me and Grandma that I am "fiesty" but I would be in the NICU until, at least, July so that I can grow and all my insides could mature. They told Mommy that there would be good days and bad days and with everything considered I am doing well.

I have not opened my eyes yet because they cant open. I heard the nurses tell Mommy that they are still fused shut and I should be able to open them in a few days.

they have a breathing machine for me, I can breathe on my own a little, and all kinds of stuff sticking in me so they know how I'm doing at all times. I surprised them the other day, I pulled that breathing thing out of my mouth and removed all those "sticky" things. They told me to behave!

Anyway, I am getting tired and going to take a nap now.

Love to you all,



These emails she saved and printed for me to put in his baby book are very special to me. I look forward to sharing them with Taylor one day.

We had the appointment for Taylor's "tip toe walking" yesterday and saw an orthopedic specialist. They had told me my son has Cerebral Palsy. That is all I can say about that right now. We are getting a second opinion because I will be damned if I am just going to slap Taylor with this label and move on. Please, keep Taylor Bug in your prayers. :)


Hol&J said...

This really hits home with me. (I'm typing through blurry eyes.)

I was a preemie like Taylor, although he was much smaller than my 2 pounds 10 ounces at birth.

He was, is, and will continue to be a fighter.

J told me about the doctor's visit last night. You're right to want another opinion.

No matter what the outcome, we will be praying for you, Taylor, and your family.

Much love, Hol

For the Love... said...

Glad you are getting a second opinion....sending best thoughts and wishes your way.

Margaret said...

completely in our prayers!!!

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

I'm so sorry, Nicole.
I think you're right in getting another opinion.
I like the way you told the story 'from Taylor' about his birth.
Take care. (HUGS)

Coffee Slut said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Chaos Control said...

I can tell Taylor's mom is a fighter, just like he is!

You and your family will most certainly be in our prayers.

Phoenix said...

Oh Nicole, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what it must be like for them to label your baby. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and for Taylor.

Read and post when you want, we all understand.

The Mommanista said...

Not sure exactly what to say...but I am thinking about you.

AJsMom said...

Don't believe everything those people try to tell you. We both know from experience that most of the time they are just trying to cover their butts! AJ has walked on his tiptoes on occasion ever since he started standing on his own. Let me know what the second opinion says...we're thinking of you.
P.S.- On a brighter note, my little AJ has FINALLY made it onto the growth charts. He's in the 5th percentile for height and weight now...scrawny kid!

Jennifer aka Binky Bitch said...

I'll be thinking about you. Hugs.

Ann(ie) said...

Hang in there, love. Glad you're getting a second opinion. You, Taylor, your family are all in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo.