Sunday, January 21, 2007


Today is my cleaning day. I wash sheets, do mounds and mounds of laundry, disinfect the kitchen, clean the bathroom, pickup around the house, and clean all animals homes'. As I was in the bathroom picking up clutter that seems to make itself at home on the counter, I saw my hubby's razor sitting there and it brought back a memory to me.

See, what I like to think of as a long, long time ago I was married to someone else who was not the greatest man in the world. He didn't start off that way but by our second child and his addictive personality, I just couldn't take it any more. I left my heart behind when I came back home to live with my aunt with two small babies and absolutely no money.

It wasn't always bad, as I mentioned before. There was a time that when he saw me and Claire his eyes lit up and my heart skipped a beat. There was a time when we had the sweetest little house in Florida, he worked, and I was a stay at home mom to two beautiful children and was able to do all of those Gymboree classes, etc. My life was perfect on the outside. I will save more of The Beginning as I refer to it now for another time.

Back to the razor, we were staying with his grandparents for awhile waiting for our house to be ready for us to move in. Claire was not even 2 yet and just toddling around the house. I was pregnant with my son and having to deal with eating dinner at 5pm, his grandmother cleaning the kitchen at 5am while singing Kenny Rogers, and the smell of bleach on the dishes. They had this really old, stinky dog that was their baby. It had arthritis and barely moved from its spot. The spot that everyone either tripped over him or stepped on him every time. Claire was teetering past the dog with a mouthful of noodles, tripped, and fell on the dog. The dog BIT her. In the face. Right above her eyebrow. There was so much blood, I couldn't tell where she was bitten and I honestly thought this geriatric bitch had eaten half of my precious baby's face off. 6 stitched and a dramatic er visit for mom and daughter, she was fine. Did I mention through all of that my little girl never once dropped 1 noodle out of her mouth?

4 days later after this, my brilliant husband left his razor laying on the edge of the sink in the bathroom. In perfect reach of a toddler, a very curious toddler. I was making Claire's breakfast and the old people were out and about, when I noticed it had gotten very quiet in the living room where she had been watching Barney. I start calling her name and she pops her little head out of the bathroom with the razor hanging out of her mouth!! My baby girl was sucking this thing like a lollipop. I run to her and take it out as carefully as I can and tell her to say "ahhh". She does and I see all of these little cuts on her tongue. I am freaking out, and terrified that if I take her to the er again they are going to think I am this unfit mother and take my daughter away. I call my aunt and tell her what happened and what I was scared of. She promised me no one thinks that and you're a great mother and accidents happen. She told me to let Claire suck on a cold wet washcloth for a good hour and the bleeding stopped on its own.

Sometimes it amazes me that they are still alive...... :)

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