Monday, February 12, 2007

Paul Michael

I am sure that everyone thinks back to previous relationships, the good-the bad- and the ugly. Paul was my high school sweetheart. He was the first person I ever had sex with. He was also the first man to ever ask me to marry him.

We dated off and on for a little over 4 years. I moved away from home with him. I got my first apartment with him. I started college as his fiance. I had my first tequila hangover with him. Over the years, we started to grow apart though. He was changing into more of a party animal and wanting to spread his wings. I was used to having him wrapped around my finger so I, well lets just say I was not always the nicest girl. He cheated, I cheated -- we broke up and then got back together. *Sigh* Young love.... It ended though and from what I can remember not well. I think of only good memories of Paul Michael but I worry sometimes that his memories of me may not be so giddy. So....

I sent him an email, and it goes something like this:

I wanted to send you a "letter" because there was a few things I wanted to talk to you about.
The other night Bryan and I were talking and I cannot remember actually what the conversation was about, but he mentioned he would like to meet you some day. Needless to say I was a little shocked. None of my other boyfriends/fiances have ever asked to meet a previous one. But Bryan is not like anyone I have ever been with before. For starters, he is the father of my beautiful daughter Claire. Secondly, he was the first "real" relationship that I had after you. He was the boy I fell in love with in GA that broke my heart and well, 9 years later here we are. He is also the man that loves my son unconditionally and makes me smile/laugh every day. I guess he wants to meet my high school sweetheart, the first guy who I gave my heart to you.
I want to apologize to you, because I don't think that I ever did. Knowing me back then, I would have been just fine with you thinking everything was always your fault. I still have issues with saying I am wrong, but hey I cant be perfect right? I cannot even remember now why we broke up. Why I went to live in GA. Why we never talk anymore. I spoke to you a few times over the years when I first returned to Texas and that was fun. I am not asking to be all buddy-buddy with you. I think I just wanted you to know that I am sorry for everything I did and didn't do when I was with you. I am sorry for not staying in touch with you. But I am thankful that my high school days brings memories of you.
Nicole

8 comments:

sillychick said...

wow...I'm not sure I could write a letter like that. But I applaud you for it...if for nothing else than to know that you put your feelings into words.
Good for you!

Jenny said...

So did he respond?!

mommiebear2 said...

Sillychick- Yeah right after I sent it, I totally wanted to take it back. :)

mommiebear2 said...

jenny - I saw that he read it, but no response so far.

Jennifer said...

I was wondering, too, if he responded. I've thought of sending notes like this before, but have chickened out.

min said...

Paul is probably busy digging a pit in his basement (yeah, in Houston) and he plans to kidnap you and keep you there hungry and naked while he has plastic surgery and a sex-change operation with the intent of taking your place in the hearts of your family. He will teach Claire to tame Amazonian tarantulas which he will hurl down upon you each night screaming, "Eat this, you Bimbo!". Bryan will buy into Paul's disguise and loves you so much that he won't realize that you're acting strangely. Only Taylor, wise and wondrous child that he is, will have the courage to stand up and cry, "No! Mommie! No!" Thereby causing...a...um...well...on the other hand, maybe Paul will be cool with the whole e-mail thing.

mommiebear2 said...

Min: You should write a book. I am impressed and scared all at the same time.

yerdoingitwrong said...

I like this very much! And I'm impressed that you wrote it, too. Good for you, girl.