Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Something else just popped into my head that I want to share. If you are familiar with my blog, then you know that my relationship with my mother has not been the best. For years I allowed her to make me miserable by the cruel things she would say and do. Of course, when I was a child, I didnt have a choice but when I became an adult, I still had that fear of her. Becoming a mother myself, I wished often that we could have the relationship that so many others had. We could go to lunch and gossip or she could keep the kids for me but sadly, that never happened and never will.

To put it bluntly I am not able to trust her. I refuse to allow my children to be subjected to some of the crap that was done or said to me. And honestly when it came down to it, I was tired of all of the drama. The feeling I would get when I would see her number pop up on the caller id. The fact that it became a chore to make myself call her because I never knew how she was going to be that day.

So after 36 years I made the decision a few months ago to stop talking to her. I was the last one out of my siblings and all of the other family members who still talked to her. I still made sure to visit her every other year at Christmas when I would go to GA with Bryan to visit his side of the family. Not anymore though. I am done. I felt guilt at first but now, just relief. I know she is my Mother but if you look at what the description of a mother is supposed to be, it isn't her.

I wish her the best and hope things start looking up for her. I have to do what is best for myself and my little family.

And life will go on.......


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