My life was a lot better. I loved living with my Aunt but she was married to a man who was hard to respect. And they fought, all the time. Not just screaming either - they would get into physical fights. I was never in any danger but I didn't like to have friends stay over sometimes because of that. He also cheated on her and would smoke pot. Every time she threatened to leave him, I secretly hoped she would. Sometimes she would get fed up with him and we would leave and go have lunch together but we always went back. Things eventually settled down for them as far as the physical violance went after they had their son, but they still fought like cats and dogs. They did end up getting a divorce about 2-3 years later and it was the best thing she ever did.
As I mentioned, my Mom still ruled from states away and I went and visited her during the summer. There was no choice because she basically threatened to take me back if we didn't jump when she said to. For the most part, nothing really eventful happened when I would go up there. She wasn't abusive because I think she missed me and having a kid for a few months must have been easier than all the time.
My Mom had many boyfriends throughout my life. She was a very beautiful woman and I knew this, but it made me uncomfortable with how free she was with her body. Am I calling my mom a slut? Not right out because that sounds so mean but in a nice way. She used men to buy her things, pay her bills, etc. I mentioned in one of my last posts that dating Bryan and Drew at the same time was one her moves to the T. She taught me to use my looks to my benefit.
I remember one summer she was dating this guy and he came over to watch a movie with her. She was wearing pajama shorts and a top that had these large arm holes that showed her breasts. It made me feel queasy every time I looked over and could clearly see her boob and knowing he could too.
One summer I got swimmers ear. Shocker that I never got it before considering I lived at the pool. There wasn't really much else to do but that and play Barbies with Vashti or of course, watch MTV. I was lying in her bed (which was where I slept when I came to visit) feeling like I was dying and trying to sleep. She came home from a date with this guy and picked me up, put me on the couch to sleep, and then I heard the bedroom door close. I cried because I thought she should be caring for her kid, not some man. I hated to think what they were doing in the bed I was to sleep in.
I remember most summers I was hungry. She never seemed to have food in the house. One time I visited with my brother and sister and I remember putting vanilla extract in some milk thinking it might make it taste like a shake. We ate a lot of cheese toast. She was never home. You might be asking yourself didn't my Aunt know this? She didn't. I didn't tell her a lot until I became an adult.