Monday, April 7, 2014

Really Do Look Like Giant Boogers....

I am a HUGE seafood fan!  Lobster, crab, shrimp, crawfish, you name it and I love it.  Not all fish though.  I do not like the fishy fish but do like tilapia and of course, Long John Silvers or Captain D's.  Yuuummmmm.

Whenever we go out to eat to a restaurant like Pappadeux (this one always without the kids because it is expensive enough for us 2 and my daughter tends to go for the priciest plate on the menu) or Red Lobster, I see people order the half shell oysters.  I am always so envious because they look so fun coming out in their own tray with their little forks and lemons.  People always seem so happy and chatty as they dig out the slimy little fellas and add their favorite condiments.  I always told Bryan how I wanted to try them and he suggested I wait until we ate at the Chinese buffet by our house where I could just try 1 in case I didn't like it.

The day comes and I chicken out.  Taylor tries to eat it as is and he actually starts to chew, his eyes start to water, his face looks like he just smelled a nasty fart, and he literally half spit/half vomited it back onto his plate.  That of course didn't make me just want to jump on up and snag me one.

A few months later, I decide to try and add lemon and cocktail sauce on it.  I know you are supposed to just suck it on down and not chew but my gag reflex will just not let me play that game.  I gotta chew.  And chew I did, and it wasn't too bad.  Every time I went I always got a few and ended up turning Claire onto them as well.

Fast forward to a Saturday lunch we were having at Red Lobster.  I saw they had FRESH oysters so Claire and I ordered some for an appetizer.  Bryan doesn't eat shell fish because he has gout but good God dont mention it to the restaurant because shit just get fu**ed up with our order.  Anyway, they bring them out and the first thing I notice is how big and plump they are.  I don't know what is going on with the buffet's oysters but RL's could kick their asses.  Claire goes first and as she is chewing I grab one, lather it with my condiments and bring it to my face.  The first thing I smell is sea water.  These are so damn fresh, I feel like I am at the beach.  I suck it into my mouth and start to chew at the same time I look over at Claire.  Her eyes are all watery and looks like she is going to toss her cookies.  She gets it down but not before turning to the side, making a gag noise, and pieces of oyster fly out of her mouth onto the ground.  It took all of my might to look away and swallow that damn thing.  Never again.  Fresh Oysters are not our Friends.

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