Tuesday, May 6, 2014

My Feet Go Where?

Do you remember your first time going to the gynecologist?  And if you are a male reader, welcome!!, but you can skip this post.  ;)

My aunt took me for my first well woman exam at 17.  Secretly, I was already having sex with my boyfriend (we used condoms) but she wanted me to get on birth control because I was getting older and I had terrible periods.  I remember hoping and praying she didn't come into the room with me because then she would see the hickeys on my breasts.

She didn't come in during the actual exam (thank God) but she did afterwards to discuss options.  I saw the same doctor she did, Dr. Turner, and she was young and super nice.  She made me feel comfortable and I was honest with her when she asked me if I was sexually active but it helped she said she wouldn't say anything to my aunt (patient/doctor confindentiality and all).  Besides I wondered if she would be able to tell just by looking down there.  =)

My biggest memory was afterwards, my aunt and I went grocery shopping.  We all know they use a lubricant so they can easily insert the speculum and then jack your insides like they are changing a tire.  I was not familiar with lube so didn't think to *ahem* wipe after the procedure.  We're walking down the frozen food aisle and my aunt asked my why I was walking funny.  I told her I felt like my vagina was all squooshy and that I was pretty sure it was making noises like when I played with the Nickelodeon Gak.  She damn near peed herself she laughed so hard.

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